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I just sent Dear Abby an email. I believe the woman is going to be flooded with advice from all the paper crafters out there. As for the person who sent the cheque---unbelievable.
I just sent her an email, too. I can't believe the response she gave. I would never in a million years tell a child that such a nasty thing had been said about something she helped me make. I did tell Dear Abby that there are organizations, like Operation Write Home, that would benefit from hand-made cards. Hopefully she will get a clue from all of us responding to her terrible response.
I know a lot of people who are like the woman who sent the check - they live and breath money. If you didn't buy it or if you didn't pay a lot of money for it (then tell everyone just where and for how much you spent), then you're cheap. Unfortunately, those people are teaching their kids to behave the same way. The number of rude, uncaring, thoughtless people in this world is increasing at a huge rate. I see it everyday with people who think their time and money is so much more important than anyone else's.
I totally agree that Dear Abby missed the mark on the response. Like others have said, there are so many worthy organizations who would very much appreciate the cards. I do agree with the part Dear Abby said about telling the girl about the relative/friend who sent the check and about the comments. The letter writer said that the girl was 9 at the time. If done in a straightforward manner (and leaving the adult "what I think of her" comments out of it), but just simply telling the girl what happened should be done. Kids need to know that not everyone in the world thinks the way the kid does - that they will run into all types of people and opinions. If the kid doesn't want anything to do with the check writing person anymore, then that's her choice; if she does, that's her choice, too. Nine is not too young to start forming your own opinions of certain things in this world. (Just talk to any kid that age now - they're full of opinions already!) Hopefully she will see that not everyone in the world feels the same way as the check writing lady.
Maybe you should invite your friends/relatives that don't appreciate handmade cards over for a card-making night. I know mine liked my cards before, but after seeing all the supplies and work it takes to make one, they really appreciate it now!
Anne
What a great idea! I know most people don't 'get' the cardmaking process. I've noticed in my family those that appreciate them the most are quilters. Honestly, my husband doesn't even really get it and he sees the time involved (and supplies! :rolleyes My dad's wife loves my cards but thought I just stamped with the color on it (I used prismacolor pencils). It made her look at it again.
I remember giving three handmade birthday cards out at a family get-together. I spent less time on the one for my teen-aged nephew (figuring he wouldn't think it was 'cool' and toss it). The other two adults opened theirs, said thanks, and put it aside. My nephew oohed and aahed over his. So, you just never know how people respond (either that or I should spend less time on my cards :rolleyes.
As for the check sent in the story...I just do NOT understand that. I can't imagine having someone like that in my life. My cards may not get oohs and aahs or really understood all the time...but at least the recipients have manners.
__________________ Susan
Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're probably right. - Zig Ziglar
Clearly that person who sent the check was an Scrooge or a Grinch! Lump of coal where their heart should be. The important thing here is to recognize the spirit of the holiday...togetherness with family, the joy of giving...a rich family tradition of making the cards with the neice that brought them both joy. Too bad Dear Abbey didn't acknowlege any of that. The point of sending holiday cards...is not "the card" itself, it is the wish behind it to wish someone happiness! I would have totally cashed the check and buy more supplies with it!!! ;0)
I would have cashed the check immediately to buy more stamps, ink and paper to make even more cards with my niece in the hope she would send even more craft money in the future!!! hee hee Jeanne
I would like to say that NOWHERE in Abby's response does she say for them to stop making cards. She just said not to make the unappreciative rude person anymore cards. :-)
Honestly, as an Aunt I would talk to my niece about how some people just don't know how to appreciate hand-crafted things and that one of the card recipients sent her a check because they thought the cards were being handmade due to a lack of funds. Then talk to the niece about what would be a good thing to do with the check and then they should decide together whether to use it for more supplies or to give the money to a charity or send it back with a note saying we send handcrafted cards because we enjoy it not because we don't have money.
I make cards because I love it. Everybody I know gets my cards at some point or another and I realize that some don't appreciate the effort as much as others. Do I care? Umm...NO!
__________________ Shellie G
Aspire to be a better person than you were yesterday
I wrote a "shame on you" to Dear Abby. She missed the boat telling the writer to turn the neice against the offensive relatives...and by not suggesting that the cards could be donated to worthy individuals/causes. We'll see if she prints it!
(PS...I agree the relatives were rather offensive and rude!)
We should all right a "shame on you" to dear Abby!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beedubya
Jeez, can you *imagine* if you got a response like that to a card given out of love?? I would be super p***ed. My SIL doens't *love* my cards but she would never say something so hurtful.
I'd send the cheque back to that woman with a card from the dollar store and would probably continue to send her a cheapy dollar store care every week for a year. I'd write inane things in them like, "I hear beets taste good with shepherd's pie. You?" or a Ralph Wiggum fave, "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
That'd learn 'er.
LOL, and this is why I heart you Brandi! I didn't get through this whole thread since I stopped to reply and laugh my butt off at yours but I saw this yesterday at work. Seriously, she sent a check? I'm not sure what my response would have been but I'm sure it would be something I can't post on here:-)
And yeah...my handmade cards are "cheap". I only spent around $300 on supplies for my Christmas stuff this year probably and most are going to cost double the postage if not more....man, I'm cheap, LOL! IF these people only knew.....
Um. WOW! I don't even know what to say about the Dear Abby letter!
What I will say is that the meaning of "handmade" should be stamped somewhere on the envelope so that non-cardmakers understand that "handmade" actually means ...that someone took some time out of their day to create something special just for you. What it also means is that you were in mind when coming up with the design, picking the pretty papers and the perfect sentiment and image let alone the colouring or paper piecing. That it also means that they may have possibly endured injury to them selves (paper cuts, glitter in the eyes, use your imagination because injuries in papercrafting can be serious *wink*) and their property (ink pads on the carpet, glue on the furniture, burning down the house with a heat gun) and even draining their bank accounts for supplies for a beautiful handmade, one of a kind greeting, made specifically just to brighten your day
The thought of somebody actually taking the time to write a check and a nasty note to the cardmaker made my blood boil. This crab clearly wanted to make a statement. I love the idea of using her money to buy more supplies!
I would cash the check, buy more supplies, take a pic of me and my niece sitting with all our new goodies with big ole smiles on our faces and send it to that witch! Of course, a nice note saying "(Niece's name here) and I SOOOOO appreciated your generous donation to our special time we get to spend together, creating Christmas cards with love for each person we send them to. I am so sorry you dont appreciate the time it takes to make these cards and send them out to you and everyone else! Dont worry! Next year, we will be kind and leave you off the Christmas list."
Not that that would teach her, but it would make me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I like to kill with kindness, in a snarky way! HA!
I would cash the check, buy more supplies, take a pic of me and my niece sitting with all our new goodies with big ole smiles on our faces and send it to that witch! Of course, a nice note saying "(Niece's name here) and I SOOOOO appreciated your generous donation to our special time we get to spend together, creating Christmas cards with love for each person we send them to. I am so sorry you dont appreciate the time it takes to make these cards and send them out to you and everyone else! Dont worry! Next year, we will be kind and leave you off the Christmas list."
Not that that would teach her, but it would make me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I like to kill with kindness, in a snarky way! HA!
Hi! I am new here-just signed up last night. I just read this thread and told my husband. His jaw dropped and he was kind of speechless. Yeah, that's not nice at all. I would have told the niece we were making cards anyway for those who do appreciate them!
My own family members have never been that rude to me (though I have been told I have too much time on my hands-it's annoying but it doesn't really doesn't bother me that much), but I refuse to give people my cards if I know they don't appreciate them.
My nieces and nephews actually enjoy making them with me--in fact they made me cards for a birthday once and actually thanked me for doing so many scrappy things with them. They prefer to spend time with me rather than have the hottest toy on the market!
I didn't read that, but it's so hard to believe people are that cruel. I have a friend whose MIL doesn't like handmade anything so my friend doesn't give her any of the cards she makes. Other than that one person, everyone I know loves my cards and would be offended if I went back to buying dollar store cards. I put my heart into each card. My friends know that. Love my friends and family.
I would cash the check, buy more supplies, take a pic of me and my niece sitting with all our new goodies with big ole smiles on our faces and send it to that witch! Of course, a nice note saying "(Niece's name here) and I SOOOOO appreciated your generous donation to our special time we get to spend together, creating Christmas cards with love for each person we send them to. I am so sorry you dont appreciate the time it takes to make these cards and send them out to you and everyone else! Dont worry! Next year, we will be kind and leave you off the Christmas list."
Not that that would teach her, but it would make me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I like to kill with kindness, in a snarky way! HA!
ROFL!! Love your response!
I can't believe people can be like that, my family & friends either adore them or would be courteous enough to say some kind words.
I vote for everyone sending Dear Abby one of our "cheap" handmade Christmas cards. Mine is addressed and ready to go in the mail tomorrow. I only spent $250 on Christmas card supplies this year....LOL The address is PO Box 69440 Los Angeles CA 90069
I would cash the check, buy more supplies, take a pic of me and my niece sitting with all our new goodies with big ole smiles on our faces and send it to that witch! Of course, a nice note saying "(Niece's name here) and I SOOOOO appreciated your generous donation to our special time we get to spend together, creating Christmas cards with love for each person we send them to. I am so sorry you dont appreciate the time it takes to make these cards and send them out to you and everyone else! Dont worry! Next year, we will be kind and leave you off the Christmas list."
Not that that would teach her, but it would make me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I like to kill with kindness, in a snarky way! HA!
Great answer! I would most definitely cash that check!
I vote for everyone sending Dear Abby one of our "cheap" handmade Christmas cards. Mine is addressed and ready to go in the mail tomorrow. I only spent $250 on Christmas card supplies this year....LOL The address is PO Box 69440 Los Angeles CA 90069
Nice idea. Dear Abby didn't say anything negative about the handmade cards, though.
What would be kind of funny would be if we knew the address of the spiteful woman and all sent her handmade cards, explaining that we're all "so poor" that we have to make our cards, and would she mind donating money to all of us? :twisted:
WOW Am I glad I don't live in that world! My cards are eagerly anticipated and some family members reserve a 'place of honor' to display my cards and save them from year to year! Sometimes I find it stressful with all the busy holiday bustle...but never again after reading this....I am lucky to be appreciated!
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That made me chuckle, even though it's a kind of physical 'spamming'. Be sure to carefully read and re-read the Dear Abby letters so that you are acting on what is actually there, not a quick re-action to what everyone else is feeling or saying.
Nice idea. Dear Abby didn't say anything negative about the handmade cards, though.
What would be kind of funny would be if we knew the address of the spiteful woman and all sent her handmade cards, explaining that we're all "so poor" that we have to make our cards, and would she mind donating money to all of us? :twisted:
Maybe we could ask Dear Abby to forward them to the woman...LOL
The response of Blue at Christmas was "We won't be making cards this year..." I wish we could write to HER, and tell her to keep this tradition alive for as long as her niece wishes to make cards with her. And let her know there are many people who would enjoy receiving them. I have a great-niece who enjoys making cards with me, and I would never let the opinions of a few stop us from doing what we love to do...
__________________ Linda E
Caution: You are entering an artistic zone. This is not clutter - this is creating. These are not pajamas - it's my work uniform.
The response of Blue at Christmas was "We won't be making cards this year..." I wish we could write to HER, and tell her to keep this tradition alive for as long as her niece wishes to make cards with her. And let her know there are many people who would enjoy receiving them. I have a great-niece who enjoys making cards with me, and I would never let the opinions of a few stop us from doing what we love to do...
Hmm. If Blue at Christmas took the time to write Dear Abby, she most likely reads it regularly. So if they print any of the letters we have written to the column hopefully she will read it and rethink breaking this beautiful tradition she made with her neice. Sometimes we just need a little support from our fellow crafters who can understand what we go through.
Wow, is all I can say. A couple of things come to mind immediately. If there is any one thing we do not have enough of these days, it is TIME. When someone receives a handmade card, I don't know why they can't see that the giver spent TIME to make it, TIME that they could have spent doing something for themselves or their family. As to CHEAP, I've added up the cost of the tools to make some of my cards and no kidding, I've spent up to $150, yes $150 (that's not counting equipment like the Cricut or the Cuttlebug) on various cutters, designer paper, baubles etc to make that card. Is that CHEAP? And sometimes I buy a stamp that I've never used again. I would say, continue making your beautiful cards with your niece and send them to people who are gracious enough to thank you for them. <rant over>!
It is funny; I read this thread last night and woke up to see this in a thread on the demo side Real Life Adventures Comic Strip, December 15, 2010 on GoComics.com Too bad Abby didn't focus on the love shown in handmade items (although this is rather tongue in cheek too)
I would cash the check, buy more supplies, take a pic of me and my niece sitting with all our new goodies with big ole smiles on our faces and send it to that witch! Of course, a nice note saying "(Niece's name here) and I SOOOOO appreciated your generous donation to our special time we get to spend together, creating Christmas cards with love for each person we send them to. I am so sorry you dont appreciate the time it takes to make these cards and send them out to you and everyone else! Dont worry! Next year, we will be kind and leave you off the Christmas list."
Not that that would teach her, but it would make me feel SO MUCH BETTER! I like to kill with kindness, in a snarky way! HA!
I love your idea - I'll have to keep that in case that ever happens to me!! LOL
However, I too went to the link and fired off a letter to Abby - so I think she'll be getting lots of responses on this one!
It is funny; I read this thread last night and woke up to see this in a thread on the demo side Real Life Adventures Comic Strip, December 15, 2010 on GoComics.com Too bad Abby didn't focus on the love shown in handmade items (although this is rather tongue in cheek too)
I get photo cards from friends every year that are totally mass printed then stuffed in the envelope as is - never any type of signatures or little notes, even from those I haven't seen or heard from in ages. Even the envelopes are printed from a database type of program. I guess I have to look at the fact that at least they sent something.
Oh... that brought tears to my eyes. So sad! My 6 year old *loves* to help me with projects... the time with him is totally worth it even if not a single other person ever appreciated it.
__________________ Paper Crafts Go-to-Gal member #1507gallery witticisms... a witty blog
My ex-husband called me to read the Dear Abby column to me. He was furious that someone would do that. He knows that I have always loved crafting and he is amazed at the cards that I make. People can be so rude and hurtful ---- keep making and posting your cards....I love them! and I love making them.
Once I got to the response that gave Dear Abby's link; I sent off a response to her as well.
I'm still just STUNNED at the rudeness of the person sending a check. And the obvious "cluelessness" as well. This person probably thought they were being so very kind, so very generous and so very helpful in giving a head's up to the card maker so she could stop this "embarrassing" practice. Sheesh.
I don't know what I would do if someone I sent a handmade card to did that to me. Or even told me in anyway that they thought my handmade card were cheap, or just not worth the effort. I have given handmade cards to some dear friends who have not GUSHED over it being handmade but are appreciative. I've given them to family as well. My DH's family makes a point of mentioning or asking "you made this didn't you" but that is all they say. I'm never sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.
My DH really likes me to make cards for his family members for all occasions and I'm always nervous to do so. He wonders WHY I would think that anyone else would think anything bad about receiving a handmade card. I think I'll have him read this thread!!
Regardless, I will continue to make cards and send them out as I am able while juggling the rest of life! Unless I get an out and out negative response from someone. Then I would probably stop sending a card to them at all.
I did mention in my response to Abby that buying quality product to produce these cards makes this hobby far from cheap. I hope in all the responses she receives that she will print some; or at least print a summary about some of the "truth" behind handmade cards. Or ANY handmade item. Like, it's not cheap, it's done with love, appreciate the time and effort the maker went to, we all need to focus less on MONEY anyway...etc.
