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I think when you give something/do something nice for someone, you should never expect a thank-you or anything else in return. Do it for the joy of doing it, period.
A thankyou would be nice (and very good manners), but that's not why you are giving things to these people. You do it to be nice and to feel good, not to recieve praise. Right? So just know that you have undoubtedly made some people very happy and find the reward in that.
People just don't have the good manners they used to. Your acts of kindness won't change decades of declining manners. But like I said, NEVER give a gift with the expectation of thanks. It takes something from the meaning of the gift, and makes you feel crummy too.
((hugs)) You did some very nice things for people.
I have to say I agree. Very well said.
So sorry there are people out there that have forgotten their manners!
I've never heard of sending a thank-you note for an interview! I thought that would be *polishing the apple* so to speak. Is this truly expected in order to be courteous after an interview? Color me ignorant!
My DH recently retired from the USAF and had an interview months before he retired. He sent thank-you notes to each team member who interviewed him (about 5, I think--it was an all-day interview). But they called the next day to offer him a job. He read somewhere in all his "changing careers" information that thank-you notes were highly recommended. Obviously, he sold himself well at the interview (it was so nice not having months of searching and wondering if he'd have a job post-AF!), and he has a very rare specialty that made him a perfect fit for the job, but saying thanks sure can't hurt in this tight market!
It is really sad that our society is like that. I think we see it all too often. In my first grade classroom, manners are a huge part of our day. I do my best to incorporate and teach them, and the students also see me using them. Unfortunately, when they go home all is lost, because many families just don't care. So, don't stop what you are doing. We need people like you in this world!! A big THANKS to you !!!!!!!!!!
A big ((((HUG)))) for you for being a wonderful person. I'm amazed that you kept doing it after getting no thank-yous. That just show what great character you have....;)
I know personally I thank everyone for anything I get. I'm a huge fan of Jojot's work on here. She sent me a card which I posted in my gallery and listed it as a RAK from a very talented person.
I managed to get bundle up for a friend at a great price from someone on here and I sent her extra because the price was so reasonable. She wanted to refund me the difference but, I told her no I was just so greatful to be getting it that I wanted her to keep it.
I guess everyone is just different.
JMHO
You are an extremely good person with a glowing soul!!! Unfortunately, many people out there are not as wonderful as you... But please do not give up hope! I truly believe, and you must too, that there are more good people than not.
I have run into the same thing so many times, I lost count. It is the few sweet notes and the exclamations of joy and thanks that ensure all is not for naught. And no matter what happens, we will keep doing what we know is right...
I don't think it is too much to expect a thank you but it sounds like the reason you do these things is because it makes you feel good....... If you are doing it so that you will receive a thank you, then you are doing it for the wrong reason.
We do these things because it makes us feel good, not to receive a thank you.
In addition to etiquette, I enjoy hearing from the person just so I know that they have received the gift. In the past, I have asked people, "Hey did you get the birthday gift?" - :cool:
My DH recently retired from the USAF and had an interview months before he retired. He sent thank-you notes to each team member who interviewed him (about 5, I think--it was an all-day interview). But they called the next day to offer him a job. He read somewhere in all his "changing careers" information that thank-you notes were highly recommended. Obviously, he sold himself well at the interview (it was so nice not having months of searching and wondering if he'd have a job post-AF!), and he has a very rare specialty that made him a perfect fit for the job, but saying thanks sure can't hurt in this tight market!
Sorry for the hijack!
Agreed, a simple thank you can go a long long way. While yes, it's nice to give for the sheer pleasure of it, a thank you does not take that much time and can really mean a lot to the person giving.
I used to teach a class in job and life skills, and one of the lessons was to write a thank you letter to the person who interviewed you. It really makes an impression and your thoughtfulness will stand out above the rest.
Pam- you are so amazing...please don't change who you are.....I used to feel very 'old-fashioned' for making my kids actually phone aunts/uncles/grandparents and thank them for cards and gifts. On Christmas morning- the boys have to make lists of who gave them what so they can remember and be specific when thanking them.....whereas I never even receive an acknowledgment from my nieces/nephews....
bottom line I think is that most people don't feel the need- or simply even care to say those words-- like when you hold the door open for them- or help them with their bags- or hand them something they have dropped......its our 'all about me' society....
I agree that it isn't to much to say a simple "thank you" when we recieve a gift or anything from someone.. The comments I have read are all true and alot needs to be considered.
I must say though that currently I am living in Denmark and around thanksgiving time last year we had a party. Dane's are not familiar with our Thanksgiving traditions so that was the theme to our gathering. However, since we just moved here-it's tradition in Denmark to have a housewarming party, so you could say we combined the two together. Anyways, we recieved gifts from several people, some had cards and some did not. I made thank you cards for all who at giving names and thanked each for their gifts. Those who didn't leave names but I knew had brought something I wrote a generic thank you .. You know what- all the Dane's where asking what the card was for...SOOO- my point is -maybe it's their culture also, not everyone understands the US way of things..I am learning that in every culture there are different ways of doing things that I had never considered before.. It's a thought..
Also, I am guilty of not always sending thank you cards, but you made me realize how much it means to get a note, weather email, pm or good ol' mail..
I hope you stay the wonderful, caring and compassionate person that you are and know that you may not always get the cards, but I'm sure you are appreciated.. WE ALL APPRECIATE YOU FOR SURE!!!
HUGS & LOVE
Carla
__________________ Love,Joy and Peace
Carla
Domestic Engineer with CRS!!!
I've never heard of sending a thank-you note for an interview! I thought that would be *polishing the apple* so to speak. Is this truly expected in order to be courteous after an interview? Color me ignorant!
It was when I was in the midst of my post-college job search eight years ago -- sending a thank-you letter was in the list of tips that Career Services handed out! Even if it hadn't been, though, my mom insisted that every time I interviewed for a summer internship I should send a letter to the person I met with.
Another reason for sending a thank-you letter after a job interview is that it helps to keep the lines of communication open should you need to make any follow-up calls. Occasionally things get busy and your resume could fall through the cracks, and that letter just might help jog the person's memory when you call to ask about the status of your application.
__________________ Rachel Proud SU! demo and Sci-Fi Geek!
My Stampin' Up! blog "I'm a time traveler -- I point and laugh at archaeologists." 10th Doctor, "Silence in the Library"
I agree that a thank you is always a wonderful thing to receive but I also believe that most people can't be bothered. I'm part of the RAK group and on the birthday committee. I send out an average of 5 birthday cards each month to RAK members. Each person on the birthday committee has a thank you thread and links to all the thank you threads are in a sticky thread so they are easily found. If I receive one thank you per month, sometimes one in two months, then that's alot. It amazes me especially since this is the RAK group. Last year for my birthday in August I was planning on quiting the committee and had told them so, well wouldn't you know that I ended up getting about 30 cards in August and I either posted a thank you in their thank you thread and if they didn't have one then I sent a PM for each and every card. I'm sure you've guessed, I'm still sending out birthday cards without any thanks.
It's just plain and simple common courtesy.
And Pam, if you have any other sets that you would like to mail out, I'll give you my address and promise - cross my heart - hope to die that I will not only send you a thank you PM but also a thank you card.;)
You are such a nice person. The one thing I hate is when someone doesn't say Thank you. How hard is it to say two little words? I don't mind going out of my way to help someone. You are a very generous person, no matter what happens stay that way. There are not too many people like you left in this world.
Stay sweet.
I cannot even fathom not sending a thank you...for crying out loud, if you sent me something free of charge as a surprise, i'd immediately make you something WITH IT and send it to you to surprise you back! It's common courtesy, you know? Where are people's manners? I can see maybe one person running into some trouble with replying (technical errors, etc) but not all of them! I think you're an angel and i'm sorry that others haven't had the sense to see that!!
__________________ Jen Z. in Elysburg, PA...not quite stampin' in Atlas anymore!
It was when I was in the midst of my post-college job search eight years ago -- sending a thank-you letter was in the list of tips that Career Services handed out! Even if it hadn't been, though, my mom insisted that every time I interviewed for a summer internship I should send a letter to the person I met with.
Another reason for sending a thank-you letter after a job interview is that it helps to keep the lines of communication open should you need to make any follow-up calls. Occasionally things get busy and your resume could fall through the cracks, and that letter just might help jog the person's memory when you call to ask about the status of your application.
Sorry - still so new to the forums I didn't realize anyone had responded to my posting. Another reason to send a thank you note (or, in this day and age, an email at least) is to clarify something said in the interview, stress a point you wanted to make, remind the interviewer of your qualifications, etc. The letter shouldn't be long - just two or three paragraphs, but it should mention specifically some of the points discussed - to show you were actively listening - and to reiterate your desire to work for the company.
Good manners are important in everyday life, but they are crucial in the business world, and the more casual everyone gets, the more professional and outstanding the truly polite will seem.
Another great time to send a professional card - when your staff does something exceptional, or when a peer gets promoted. Be kind to those above and below you on the ladder (you'll be grateful later when you're sharing the same rung). :-D
I will admit I haven't read every response but I can sympathize with you. I am a teacher and on a student's birthday I give him or her a full size candy bar and a bookmark. Never once have I heard a child say thank you. Never. I think we can't expect adults to say thank you because evidently too many parents forget to teach their children to say thank you. I agree with what many others have said, let's just keep doing good things and look upon the rare thank you as a true blessing.
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I'm with you Pam..
But you know what?
Consider these things raks. Random Acts of Kindess.. the personal feeling of good deeds done.. The feeling of good deeds done is bigger and better for myself if they can be done and done unnoticed.. meaning the person I did something for doesn't know it was me!
Personally, I don't want a thank-you.
I have a hard time accepting a Thank-you graciously, I fluster!
My mother always said you can do what you want and you'd best Thank people but to never ever expect anything back, even a thank-you.
That way you never feel let down.
Hold your head high.
Some peole have no Class and some are just to busy to notice the return address...
__________________ www.petfinder.com
Why Breed or Buy & Let Rescue Dogs Die?
I haven't been on here in a while, and this is the 1st thread I read. What has this world come to. My mother taught me at an early age to ALWAYS say please and thank you and it is Mr. and Mrs. not Jack and Sue. I also went to a Catholic school. To this day, if I see a parent that I know, I always say hello Mr. so and so. (I am 47) Therefore: on this subject, I have always said Thank You no matter what the occation or sent a note. My DD is 11 and she had a B-day party, I made the cards and she wrote to everyone a thank you note and how she was glad they could come to her party. I am instilling this at an early age, which she has always been told to say please and thank you from age 2.
I am very glad to see that there are kind and generous people still in the world and I Thank You for that.
What you did was more than a Random Act of Kindness (which I define as a card, a kind gesture, etc.)---those sets are valuable!!!! You are a VERY generous person. I don't care how busy or stressed out someone is, sending a PM takes less than a minute. They should be ashamed of themselves! I would love to send you a thank you card if you feel comfortable sending me your addy. You are a very special and RARE person to do what you do--bless you! I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but this issue really struck a nerve, I guess...
I hope more people read this and remember that it is a NICE thing to send out a thank you - especially when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you! I agree that I expect a little acknowledgement of some kind, and look forward to it even! But when it doesn't come, it's a little disappointing. I get what someone said about not expecting a thank you, but you can't help it when you are dying to know that the recipient got their stuff and hopefully they're ecstatic!
Pam, send me some of your sets, and I will send you a thank you! LOL
Just kidding. ;-)
Elaine
__________________ Elaine ~ A_Place_For_Ink / Stamp Connoissuer A Place for Ink!
I was so bothered by how you have been treated. I guess because I have gone through something similiar just not with my stamps, etc.
It still amazes and disappoints me how people cannot even use common courtesy and say "thank you" to someone else. Its not like you or anyone else is looking for something big or special, just a polite and genuine thank you.
Sorry you have had to go through so much.
Just know it isn't you. There are unfortunately alot of really ungrateful people out there. But never forget, there are some good ones too!
Don't change who you are! Some day someone will appreciate you for who you are. And if nothing else, know that you can live with yourself and look yourself in the eye knowing you did the "right" thing.
OMGosh!!!!!!!!! I can't believe people would not thank you! They should be making you a life time supply of cards with those stamps let alone a Thank you! You know this Canadian girl is SO Thank-ful to you for all the help you have given me on my craft room storage. I think you are the BEST!!! I will definately keep you posted on that!! Take care Pam and shame on them!!
What a wonderful, generous, sharing/caring person you are!!! I would be ashamed if I were them. Not sending a Thank You is just rude! I know that sometimes distractions in life happen, but to get a free set in the mail and not even acknowledge the random act of kindness just blows me away.
I hope that you don't get too discouraged by these people and that they consist of only a small percentage of SCSers.
Here's a great big {{{Thank You}}}
Tammy:cool:
I too Thanked my mom for a dinner and the family for good company.I very seldom get a thank you for these.When I was a teen I can remember thanking a cop for a ticket!! and then telling my dad about it.It was a good laugh.Bless you for your kindness.
Pam, what a shame that people don't understand how rude it is not to say thank you and what a rare gem you are. Don't let these people get you down or change you. Its bad enough when its strangers but when its friends or family its even worse. I still like a thank you but I now try to remind myself that when I do something nice I do it because I want to and it makes me feel good that way no one can take away my happiness and my karma is in tact. Wishing much happiness, P
Until my children grew up and moved out, they were not allowed to use/wear/whatever a gift until they had written the thank you note. They used to growl at me about it but all 3 have told me since growing up that they will do the same with their children. They all wrote thank yous for their job interviews and were told, after being hired, that that was the 1 thing that put their names at the top of the list. So sad that people just don't care about manners anymore and do seem to have a sense of entitlement.
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My children as well have to write thank you's before playing with toys or wearing new clothes on birthdays and Holidays.
However for me personally I do things adn prefer to go unthanked or unnoticed for the sake of doing * it makes me feel good about me!*and I consider holding a door open or helping an elderly person (anyone in need of help, Moms with a toddler and baby carrier.. strollers) across the parking lot or anything else I wasn't asked to do a Random Act of Kindness.
Anything you do is Random that isn't asked for in my humble opinion.
Only once I came to SCS had I ever heard of RAKS being seen as sending cards.
That's not how it is in the rest of the world, only to us stampers! ;]
Anyhow, I think the OP is a very generous person, however she has run into many ungrateful people.
Which is sad.
Shameful even, and it say's sad thigns for our future generation.
However it sounds like there are enough of us here who instill values, morals and manners into our children, hoping they rub off on others not lucky enough to be taght the art of being GRATEFUL!
I still thank my husband for taking me out to eat!
lol My children do the same....I thanked my parents for the same.... I will never stop teaching my children manners. We started signing thank you at 2 months old and they have very good manners.
In public especially.
Thank-you for that!! ;]
I'd stop sending things for free if it were me! Maybe these people are scammers and why would they thank someone... people who are used to being spoiled or always get whatever they desire have no neeed to thank in their mind.
Some people call it the the "youngest child syndrome" being spoiled and especting things I mean...I amoneof 6, my mother calls my youngest sib the expector...lol
.. Expecting things to be handed them.
Feeling entitled is what I am trying to spit out....
I'm sorry you met so many thoughtless ladies. It's a shame and I see it in the stores I shop with sales clerks ignoring me, ringing me up without a hello even when I say Hi first or how are you .... or on the phone... that's an irker for sure.
I'm hoping you meet up with kinder more thoughtful ladies in the near future and until then know you are doing the right thing...now go do something nice for yourself you deserve it (((K)))
__________________ www.petfinder.com
Why Breed or Buy & Let Rescue Dogs Die?
I am glad this thread came up again - since I missed it the first time around.
SO THANK YOU to the ones who posted recently so I could get the opportunity to read it.
Pam - you are too kind and yes, you deserve thanks, even if it's from us rather than the people you were generous too. I am glad you heard from one person and I hope in the future when you decide to be generous again, you will be properly thanked.
I always send pm's or emails to check that something had arrived. I worry about mail all the time. I can't believe how many people don't let you know either through here or on ebay. Don't even get me started on the people who can't leave simple feedback.
As you can see, we have all been there and done that - case in point, my daughters bday party this weekend. I sent 20 invitations. I asked for an RSVP b/c it's at a sports arena, we are paying by child for the stuff - and yesterday had to email 6 mom's for a response - and all but one were planning on coming. Which is great, but nice to know in advance KWIM???
CYH. Consider yourself hugged. Saying thank you is important and I am pleased to see so many in this thread that think so too.
My therapist would tell you as she tells me all the time - "You have to stop expecting other people to be better than they are..." It's very very hard.
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PS after 2 years in a row of no thank you phone call email or card from nieces and nephews I stop sending gifts! Seriously, I have done this since I was 20 years old and I am 41 now :}
Baby showers, the last 3 I attended Idi dnotget a thank you after spending$50.00 ongifts, the last 2 weddings as well. Including my favorite nephew. I even called his mother to make sure they got the fat gift card I sent certified mail......$200. and no thank-you. My Sil said she has been after the daughter in law to send them since the husbang (her son) works 2 jobs.. Been a year and a half and I never even got a phone call.....Guess what they got for Christmas from me this year?
A card:}
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VBCASER
I love this saying.. May I use it?? Thanks for sharing. Kim
My therapist would tell you as she tells me all the time - "You have to stop expecting other people to be better than they are..." It's very very hard.
__________________
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Why Breed or Buy & Let Rescue Dogs Die?
I too missed this thread the first time--and I also feel bad that this happened to you.
I am one that always was to write thank you cards when I was a child and still do every year when I received gifts and I am in my 50's. I also have stopped giving gifts to people in the family who do not do the same............
Generations are different now--that is for sure. I am in a high school and "used" to send Congratulation cards to the athletes that made it to a state tournament-I also stopped that this year as in the past years only one young man told me thank you for the great "way to Go" card. It is too bad the future athletes will not get one, but the bar was lowered too far for me to continue.......................................
You are such a sweet and generous person, don't stop being who you are because of other people!
I am a member of the BRAK group here and send out 4-6 cards a month to other members for their birthday and get 1 or less thank you in a month...BUT it makes me feel good to send the cards so I will keep doing it. ;)
You have also reminded me to be more thankful myself, so thank you!
Jimmi, I was goint to post the same, if I get a thank you or aeven a "hey, it got here intact" for 20% of the RAKs I send it is a lot!! Which makes me hestitant to RAK for a month or so, then I start the stress all over again! in Feb I sent 9 and heard from 1. :(
For my daughter's 3rd bday, I tild her she couldn't use anything until she colored something on each thank you that I wrote and why, for her 4th, she wrote her name (traced) on each, this year she will write them out herself (which may take a while with me spelling it all out for her, but still, the grandmas will be ecstatic!) but she GETS IT so if I keep it up, she will not be in the "raised by wolves" catagory like DH's family. ;)
Pam....you rock, you are way more than generous and kind and the people that never said thanks are just sad ( and perhaps relations of my husband, lol) Keep doing your kind acts because it makes YOU happy!!! And that is what really matters.
I am going to take my own advice and send out a bunch of RAKs this weekend!
So sorry this happened to you. I don't think it's too much to expect a Thanks You - you weren't even looking for a note - a simple PM would have done.
I too have tried to instill this in my children. All we can do is hope it worked. My daughter (22) just had a birthday and my sister sent her a card. The next time my sister called me, she told me that my daughter sent her a Thank You note for the card - she was very impressed. I guess I did something right. Now that is a little over the top, but she is in college and wanted her (my sister) to know how much she appreciated getting mail.
Keep up the good work, and keep sending yout Thanks Yous. Eventually, someone will appreciate it!
if some one does something for you the lest one can do is send a thank you. I just bought a new car and I am thinking of what I can give my salesmen to thank him for the great deal and service I Received. Though we may live in a world of rude people, when something is done for you, any act of kindness one needs to acknowledge it with some form of kindness in return. It is also a pet peeve of mine. Giving gifts that cost money and not even a thank you, card,email,phone call, homing Pigeon. But I look at it as a mirror of myself to always show appreciation when a kindness has been done for me.
__________________ Daughter of a King My Blog
Rebekka
if some one does something for you the lest one can do is send a thank you. I just bought a new car and I am thinking of what I can give my salesmen to thank him for the great deal and service I Received. Though we may live in a world of rude people, when something is done for you, any act of kindness one needs to acknowledge it with some form of kindness in return. It is also a pet peeve of mine. Giving gifts that cost money and not even a thank you, card,email,phone call, homing Pigeon. But I look at it as a mirror of myself to always show appreciation when a kindness has been done for me.
You just reminded me, where I used to work we were told to keep any positive correspondence from a "customer" as part of our portfolio to show managers/future employers. It's lovely to have even small cards to show management that you are doing your job and doing it well;)
It's a shame, but this kind of thing seems to happen more and more these days. I've sent out about a dozen different giveaways of craft goodies through my blog in the past year. And I only received ONE thank you. I guess 1 out of 12 isn't bad, but I'm friends with that one person, so of course she would thank me.
I wish there were more people like you in the world. But there would still probably be those who take-take-take and never stop to say thank you.
First of all, anyone who receives a gift should send a thank-you note. It is common courtesy.
Secondly, we are card makers!!!! How could any of these fools NOT send you one?! If it had been me, I would have sent you a pm--not to thank you, but to ask for your mailing address so I could send a proper thank you card.
You are not old-fashioned nor are your expectations too high. You have been the unfortunate victim of other people's inconsiderate attitudes. You sound like an extremely generous person WHO DESERVES TO BE THANKED!!!!
A Thank you and a Smile goes further than anyone would guess. Hopefully these persons will recognize themselves and correct their lackadaisical ways. Please don't change. This world needs all the goodness one can give. Maybe with your good deed to them, they will have enough goodness to "Pass It On". . .
Pam.....so sorry that I missed this thread the first time around. THANK YOU for posting it!!! I feel your pain girlfriend. I have sent RAKs to people on here and last year my downline and I got together a big box of stuff to send to a demo who lost her home to a fire. NADA!!!! in return.....not even it got here safe. I even emailed SU to see if they would send her another starter kit since she said they lost EVERYTHING! Didn't hear from SU, but that's okay, but for her not to acknowledge the package that was sent to her and her children (sent a journal to her DD and a gift card to her DS).....NADA!!!! But, I've chocked it up to 'experience' and moved on. Most people on here are VERY GOOD about acknowledgements and for that I am thankful!!!! Don't be discouraged with the whole lot of us.....just remember that YOU are the one with the MANNERS and YOU are WONDERFUL!!!!!! Thanks for letting me add to the thread!!!!!
