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Has this feeling ever come over you? My sister's baby shower was yesterday. I wanted to make her something special as this is her first baby. For mother's day, I made her the coolest card (of course, I didn't even take a picture of it), and she said, "oh, cute". Yesterday, she didn't even acknowledge that I had made her card. I am not expecting her to gush, but acknowledgment would've been nice. It really made me want to ask for it back to give to a more appreciative person. Ok, I'm done venting. I am just wondering if this happens to you guys too and what you do to stop yourself from getting upset.
Location: Where the water meets the sand in So Cali
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I've just gotten to the point where I don't make the "really nice" cards for those people that I don't think will appreciate them "properly". Of course by "really nice" ones, I mean ones that take me a long time to make, have lots of hand coloring/embellishments, etc. They just get a simple "generic" type card of mine.
Most people that I send/give cards to are ones that really enjoy them and DO "gush" over them. It's always nice to feel acknowledged for something that you put your hard work into.
I hear ya! Some people just don't understand the work that goes into a nice card! On the flip side, I have had people gush when I least expected it (like when my sister used one of my cards for a coworker--the boss, who is a male friend of ours and definitely not a 'gusher'--mentioned it a couple of times. I was shocked!). I'm always surprised at who does and who does not appreciate the work!
Yeah that has kinda of happened to me. I gave a card to my cousin and she said "what a surprise you made a card" in a way that wasn't very nice. Oh well
One of my brothers does the same thing like "oh nice" and that is after I say do you like it, I made it. I think some people just don't get it! Their loss!!!!
__________________ Suzanne-SU demo
Wife to 1,Mom to 3-
2 that I watch over and 1 who watches over me
Yeah that has kinda of happened to me. I gave a card to my cousin and she said "what a surprise you made a card" in a way that wasn't very nice. Oh well
That is pretty cold!! From now on, she can instead say, "What a surprise, you shopped at the gas station for my card!"
I know exactly what you mean.......and why does it bother me so much..........I made a card for a friend for her birthday......it was a surprise birthday party.......and my dd and I sat as she ooohhhh'd and aaaahhhh'd over gifts and read many cards out loud......then when it came to our card .....that we especially made for her....and had a gift card inside.......she was very polite and said thank you......but nothing about the card! It kinda hurt my feelings..........
I'm so glad to know I am not alone. I guess the whole thing is that it does hurt my feelings. Now I know the gas station has cards. Or as my DH said, "next time she gets the cheapest card at the store."
I made a wedding scrapbook for my niece and sent it home with her mother, who happened to stop by my house. It's been almost a week and I haven't had a phone call or email thanking me for it. Now I didn't labor over the book cuz I went to the LSS and scraplifted one of their books right in the back workroom but she doesn't know that. But what can I expect when my SIL asked me how my stamping thing was (stamp club) and then said 'Don't you have enough cards yet?' This is the same SIL who left the cute A Muse card I made for her youngest daughter on the table at the skating rink when they left the party. She didn't even care to throw it in the garbage so I couldn't see that they just tossed it aside. But, I've been asked to make the desserts for my niece's wedding reception 'cause you do such a nice job!' WHATEVER!!! I'm also supposed to do her shower invitations but I was asked to do that by my nephew's wife who is a stamper and really appreciated the baby shower invitations I did for her.
On the other hand, my son went to a bday party tonight and he chose a very simple 'kid' card. When I picked him up, the parents and the child just gushed over it and told me I should sell them. So, it takes all kinds...
I find some people in my experience seem to think it's the "cheap" way out so to speak. I personally don't think I will every buy a card again that isn't hand made since I started making them. My DS is very much the "oh cool" in the not so good way but I usually just try to ignore it. I watched a demo do the same when I showed a bunch of cards I had made..so it all depends on someones tastes I guess. But on the positive not I have had people tell me to sell what I make so I guess its a matter of opinion. My husband says that people should be thankful they get a card never mind what kind of card it is and if they aren't he says to stop sending them. But its truly amazing that people can't even force politeness when its needed.
Some people really DON'T get it, and they probably never will. Where we look at handmade and think, "precious," some look at the same thing and think, "cheap." It's just that there are types of folks who are never going to appreciate this kind of thing.
So don't put yourself in the position to get your feelings hurt! I learned a long time ago that the people who appreciate our work most are fellow stampers. There are lots of times when store bought is the only way to go, or at least VERY simple cards. I just accept it and don't sweat it.
Yup, I made about 25 baby announcements for a friend. I even had everything written in except the baby's name and birthdate and vital stats because we didn't know them yet. I also gave her matching envies with the return address label. She said they were really nice etc, did she use them? NOPE. She actually told me that SHE LOST THEM.
I guess I do believe it because her house is literally a pit, but that is the last time I do something like that for her.
__________________ Julia Gluten free on 9/15/2008. I am a Celiac. 1 in 133 Americans is a Celiac and 97% of those who have Celiac Disease are still undiagnosed. Are you one?
There are people who are worthy of my time, and people who aren't. ;) The trick is to find out who goes where before you actually spend the time lol. My MIL has never appreciated/liked anything I made her, so she's off my list. Luckily I have other family and friends who appreciate cards and other stamped items, so I spend my time doing things for them, instead. I'm sorry you had that experience. :(
I know how you feel and yes, it does hurt! I don't think a lot people (non stampers or crafters) realize that we put our heart into our creations, not just ink up paper. When I get an "Oh, nice" and a toss aside, it makes me feel stupid (stupid for letting them make me feel bad). But on a good note, a male cousin had left all his cards & even some gifts at his sisters after the party, but the one thing he did take was my card (after, of course, he gushed all over it and showed it to everyone)! Always a silver lining somewhere....
Yup, I made about 25 baby announcements for a friend. I even had everything written in except the baby's name and birthdate and vital stats because we didn't know them yet. I also gave her matching envies with the return address label. She said they were really nice etc, did she use them? NOPE. She actually told me that SHE LOST THEM.
I guess I do believe it because her house is literally a pit, but that is the last time I do something like that for her.
Unbelievable!!!! Maybe your friendship should get lost in the pit! It takes all kinds of people to make up this world. I have had my own experiences with this type of thing, just like everyone that has answered this thread and probably a gazillion others who have not seen this thread. I just invest time in those I know appreciate what I do and blow off the others. The thing I try to keep in the back of my mind is DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!! The problem is that when it happens to me.....IT'S NOT SMALL STUFF!!! and I get all worked up!!
I just can't believe some of the rudeness mentioned here! (And I do mean of the card recipients.) My grandma never appreciated the cards I would make for her. She was always into the "bigger is better" for the cards she received so that she could show them off to her gaggle of friends. One time, though, I sent her a card that I had made for a card contest at a local store and had won first place. She must have showed it to a friend who gushed because after that, she wanted me to make her cards (so she could show them off).
I just received a thank you card from someone at work who was gushing AGAIN about the baby girl card I had made. I had also printed the baby's name on the envelope with a baby bottle font. I colored the bottles in pink.. and then used Crystal Laquer. Anyhow, the thank you card said she was going to incorporate the card AND envelope in the baby's scrapbook. How cool is that?
Dang... I still can't believe some of the recipient stories I've just read.
I sent dh g'ma alot of cards over the years and she loved them. She kept them all out to show everyone that visited. Of course you seen them more than once if you visited often. She loved to show them off. Now she has passed away and I got them all back. She saved everyone of them. It was memorable to read what I had written to her over the years. I like to make people cards that really appreciate them, otherwise the gas station card is for those who really do not care.
I know the feeling, I put a lot of time in to making them for my husband and I get a "oh nice" and then he will say that "you can take the hardware off of them and reuse them now"
MEN.....my Mom and sister usually just say cute, thanks......
I wish people would realize that if you take the time to hand make a card for them, that you consider them specail enough to do that and that they should at least say Thank You in a nice way so you know they care you did that for them.....
The thing I try to keep in the back of my mind is DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!! The problem is that when it happens to me.....IT'S NOT SMALL STUFF!!! and I get all worked up!!
This is so me, to a T! I even read it to DH. He is always telling me this, about don't sweat the small stuff, and I have never had a good comeback, until now! You rock Mothermark! Thank you so much for finally giving me something to say back to those people that say this!
__________________ Lisa C., Mom to 3 great kids, 3 super dogs and an cat that thinks she is a dog! My Gallery
My husband's uncle is quite open with the fact that he does not save cards. GASP! I now just give him birthday cards and instead of invitations printed on paper - he gets a phone call. This way I won't be crushed that he has tossed my work and he doesn't feel guilty.
Wow - some of these posts could be my in-laws. I've made a bunch of cards and been rewarded with barely a sniff. DH has, in fact, flat out TOLD them how much time I've invested in their cards. Welp, DH can make the call - they either get workshop "leftovers" or he can just go get one at the warehouse store. I'm done. No bitterness - I'm just not wasting my time and my precious materials! :p
My dad's wife told him that "it is too bad, she does such a nice job on the cards, too bad she doesn't put something inside the card like my daughter does." Her DD writes her own darn POETRY for the inside of her cards and I had to hear that. My dad told me I should put stuff inside the card as well. I told him I put my work on the outside the card and a simple Happy Birthday on the inside was all I had time for that day. He said well I am just saying, that is all.
Yup, I made about 25 baby announcements for a friend. I even had everything written in except the baby's name and birthdate and vital stats because we didn't know them yet. I also gave her matching envies with the return address label. She said they were really nice etc, did she use them? NOPE. She actually told me that SHE LOST THEM.
I guess I do believe it because her house is literally a pit, but that is the last time I do something like that for her.
Oh My Gosh!!! I can't believe this. I made only 10 simple thank you cards for a friend to use for a baby shower and she loved them. I can't imagine losing something so nice!
I think this happens all the time with all of us. I've had 2 of my son's teachers who don't stamp go ga-ga over the simplest cards I've made and family who didn't realize that the Christmas cards I labored over for weeks were handmade. And there ARE a lot of store bought cards now that try really hard to look like they were hand made, so I understand that. But that's part of the reason that I've started signing the backs when I didn't used to. It's disappointing, but if you KNOW that the person isn't going to appreciate it, don't kill yourself over the card. Personally I don't buy them...that's why I have $100s or $1000s of dollars in stamping supplies (I don't even WANT to know HOW MUCH!). If people don't like them, tough beans. Like others have said I work hard on the ones that will get appreciated and not so much on the others. I just have to keep telling myself "Build a Bridge..." (and get over it).
I'll say one thing that I have learned is that I always make very simple cards for birthdays. My DD is 6 so she attends a lot of parties and I used to stamp the recipient's name and such to make it special but after watching how fast tear into it all- they get a VERY simple card or gift tage now!
Boy I know how you all feel. I have gotten various reactions to cards over the years. My MIL surprised me, as she doesn't get it, and will say, "oh nice," while a friend of my son was so impressed with a card I made for him when he became an Eagle Scout that he added something in his thankyou card, and that made me feel great!
I have another friend who displays all my Christmas cards to her during the holidays. One year I sent simple photo cards I had not made, boy was she disappointed, but I had just had a baby, and was quite ill, so no handmade cards that year...
I try to send the special ones to people I know will appreciate them.
I hear ya... I am to the point that I don't use the stampin up paper for cards unless it is for someone that I know will appreciate the card... I just hate knowing that some people don't keep the card that I put so much work into.
I just love hearing how nice the card that I made for someone is and how much they appreciate it. There are times that I put over an hour or more into just coloring the card let alone the extra time trying to even think up a design.
This is so me, to a T! I even read it to DH. He is always telling me this, about don't sweat the small stuff, and I have never had a good comeback, until now! You rock Mothermark! Thank you so much for finally giving me something to say back to those people that say this!
Funny that this hit home to you!! We truly have something in common. At certains times small is just BIG!!!!! Next time my husband says to me "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!" I will think of you!!!
Location: The only Eaton Rapids on the Earth, Michigan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kjscrapper
I know the feeling, I put a lot of time in to making them for my husband and I get a "oh nice" and then he will say that "you can take the hardware off of them and reuse them now"
MEN.....my Mom and sister usually just say cute, thanks......
I wish people would realize that if you take the time to hand make a card for them, that you consider them specail enough to do that and that they should at least say Thank You in a nice way so you know they care you did that for them.....
You hit the nail on the head when you wrote 'you consider them special enough' to make them a card. I'm thinking our resident poet, Mothermark, could come up with a very short poem that we could enclose in our cards. What say ye Mothermark????
I made my mum a 30th anniversary card. A week later she said " would you like the bits off my anniversary cards to see if you could use them on your cards?" I said "okay". And guess what came back? My card that I had made her !!!!
You hit the nail on the head when you wrote 'you consider them special enough' to make them a card. I'm thinking our resident poet, Mothermark, could come up with a very short poem that we could enclose in our cards. What say ye Mothermark????
Well, you put me on the spot. I will have to think about coming up with a poem but in the meantime I have a really good idea. Alot of us have the new BIG set. Here's my thought and I already have Sillybird looking for this stamp in the UK but she says there is not alot of cool stuff available. Here's my BIG idea.....everyone be on the lookout for a stamp that says JERK. Send a really awesome card to some who shows no appreciation whatsoever and then follow-up with a crappy card that just says BIG JERK!!!! That'll teach em.....and believe me, I have had occassion to do this very thing!!!
Well, I don't have a problem with people throwing away my cards after they've received them, just as long as they show SOME appreciation for them. I don't need to have my cards gushed over but a statement like 'how nice that you took the time...' would be nice. I know my DH's family throws everything away and for the kids, I generally keep things simple. Both my sons love going into my card pile and picking a card for their friends and their friends all seem to enjoy getting them. My kids even choose the ones they want me to give them for their birthdays and tell me not to use them on anyone else. Last year I gave my FIL a giftcard in a decorated CD tin. I snagged the tin back after he left it on the counter empty so it could be re-used. That didn't bother me cuz it was what I expected he would do.
Oh they're all just jealous of our obvious and generous talent.
Now that is the right attitude!! I will admit though, I spend a lot more time on cards for people that really appreciate them. I've been pretty lucky so far, most seem to apprecaite them.
I send cards to both my grandparents (one is 81 and the other is 85--we will give them some slack)! Anyway, no one ever said boo about my cards. Both have since admitted that they did not know I made the cards until someone else showed them MY NAME on the back! I thought it was obvious but some people may not even realize you made it.
On the flip side, I send another elderly woman (friend of the family) cards and she sends me letters gushing about them. It pays off.
__________________ Angela Mom to baby Caroline born on September 16, 2007.
I am so lucky!! With the exception of my brother (who believes God put him on this earth to torment me ;) ), I have received so much positive feedback:
My Dad has a few of the cards I made him "on permanent display" in the living room (it's too bad I started this obsession after my Mom died. She & I would have had so much fun with this). In addition, he ONLY gives out cards that I make for birthdays, anniversaries, & Christmas (he "contracts" with my 11 year old DD to make cards for me so that I don't make my own).
My cousin's wife included a note about how much she loves receiving my hand made creations in their change of address message.
My DS (9) has already "ordered" his birthday card (& woe to me if I try a different design).
My B-I-L called to tell me he had never seen such a cool card as the one we sent for his birthday (waterfall card).
I made cards for our company last year & received MANY compliments.
