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OK, this is probably going to make me sound really rude, but it's bothering me to the point that I have to ask! I have had several times, today most recently, that I have posted something other than a card in my gallery and I have members PM me asking for directions. Today, I had 5 PM's requesting instructions for a triangle box in my gallery. Not a single one of those 5 people bothered to leave a comment on it!!! Is it just me, or is this kind of rude??? The girls I chat with here agree for the most part, and have had this happen to them once or twice, too. Does this happen to others? I mean face it, we all love to be validated! I personally am getting really irritated at this practice, and I guess rather than go off on these people that are PM'ing me, I thought I'd post here and see what others think. I suppose most will say I'm overreacting, but hey, I say if you want me to take the time to email you directions, etc. the least you can do is leave me a comment!
tammy,
i know what you are saying. my gallery is not big but i have two things in my gallery people pm me too and asked for directions and i did not get a commet from them.
at the beginning it did not border me, i feel it is still a compliment... specially if they write a nice email to me and actually tell me that they like it. than i dont need to see the complement written in my gallery again. you know what i mean?
but the other day i had somebody pm me about pocket cards, really short mail no nice word.... and i have to say... i opened the mail, meant to get back to her but than i just did not.. not on purpose just got busy and i did not feel the need to reply at one point. meaning if people are nice i always respond right away.
i checked your gallery and your work is great, you sure do deserve the posts.
honestly, I've never noticed. I've been pm'ed but I'd never checked to see whether or not they've left a comment. I guess I just assumed they did. Why bother to ask how to make something if you don't comment on it?
Tammy, your box is totally cute! But...
A few months ago there was a thread about people who only posted one or two word comments. The feeling expressed seemed to be that if you didn't make a lengthy comment, it just wasn't good enough. The effect was chilling--many people (including me) stopped posting comments because "Gorgeous!" wasn't good enough. This thread has the same sort of feeling. The price of instructions or information is public adulation? What's next--a tip jar?
Tammy, your box is totally cute! But...
A few months ago there was a thread about people who only posted one or two word comments. The feeling expressed seemed to be that if you didn't make a lengthy comment, it just wasn't good enough. The effect was chilling--many people (including me) stopped posting comments because "Gorgeous!" wasn't good enough. This thread has the same sort of feeling. The price of instructions or information is public adulation? What's next--a tip jar?
Whenever I can, I try to do the Color Challenges on Tuesdays and Sketch Challenges on Wednesdays. Those cards always get a lot of comments, and I do my very best to leave comments on all the other cards for those challenges, too. Sometimes though, all there is time for are one word or two. I remember that thread, and don't personally have a problem with giving or receiving brief comments. I just think to some extent that we're all a little addicted to that thrill of seeing a card get a lot of comments, and I think it's rude of some of these people to send a PM but not bother to leave a comment. One person today PM'd me, and emailed me! I know I'm just probably hormonal or something, but it just fries me!
I see what you're saying, but I don't have a gallery so I can't really relate. I suppose you could take the request as a comment, right? It is very flattering! Good work, by the way!
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Can't remember who said that, but I agree.
I had a particular card that generated lots of requests for the template. I did not consider a request w/o a comment as rude. I just thought that the request was the same as a really good comment, because the person was hoping to copy my idea.
I agree, it would bother me. I don't think I've noticed anything like that here, but on a cake decorating site, I noticed someone gave rave compliments to a classmate/friend who uploaded her cake at the same time as mine. Then came to my cake and just asked to borrow a template! Which I had to scan and send to her. I felt complimented in a way, but she really did not say anything about my cake, she just wanted my template to use on her cake. Humph!
__________________ "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright *2 Successful Trades
Oh and I wonder if we can ask for a favorites tally. On my decorating site, it shows how many people have your cake photo in their favorites file. SO, maybe that would give us a morale booster by number, if not by comment. KWIM?
__________________ "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright *2 Successful Trades
Oh and I wonder if we can ask for a favorites tally. On my decorating site, it shows how many people have your cake photo in their favorites file. SO, maybe that would give us a morale booster by number, if not by comment. KWIM?
That's a great idea. If I just have a few minutes to go through the gallery I like to add cards to my favorites so I can come back and look at them again later.
Location: Hangin on SCS with my "pretend" stamping friends
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Happens ALL the time!
I never complained about one word comments either! A comment is a comment IMO-
I agree if someone likes it enough to PM they could at least leave a comment saying so.
I think it's rude, too, but I'm ashamed to admit I did it myself last week. :( I commented afterwards, but I usually leave comments first. I also leave comments on everything I put in my favourites; I think it's only polite!
I think SCS was originally for StampinUp! demonstrators only, and was to share ideas and techniques to show others. And I am always happy to share how I did something as most of us come here to both learn and share what we have learned elsewhere.
And I've gotten more philosophical about some people getting 30 comments and 2,000 views and some of my really complex works in polymer clay and mica powders getting 200 views. It isn't really scoring artistic quality, it about interest - in the stamp set, in the technique, in the colors, and some element of popularity.
Count the p.m's as a comment plus, they are personally contacting you and requesting a personal response.
First, I admit, I should comment on cards more! I have a dial up connection however, and sometimes it just takes forever!
Ok-to the OPs question: I don't think it's rude. If someone sends me a PM about something in my gallery, or a template I've posted, they usually so "I think it's really cool" or something like that; if they don't say it, I still know they're asking for details because they like it.
I don't need "public acknowledgement" for works in my gallery. But having said that, I just LOVE to read the comments people have left about my work... true validation!
Tammy, your box is totally cute! But...
A few months ago there was a thread about people who only posted one or two word comments. The feeling expressed seemed to be that if you didn't make a lengthy comment, it just wasn't good enough. The effect was chilling--many people (including me) stopped posting comments because "Gorgeous!" wasn't good enough. This thread has the same sort of feeling. The price of instructions or information is public adulation? What's next--a tip jar?
Tammy,
I really love this box! I'm sorry people aren't taking the time to tell you. You have to know how creative you are - or they wouldn't want it!! I'm hoping you will post your directions somewhere where we all can enjoy it. Thanks for sharing.
Jody [email protected]
Location: Buffering.... Buffering...next to Okiechic :)
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I can understand your frustration, but I must say I don't think it would really bother me...I LOVE when people leave comments, but I know I'm just as guilty of looking quick and not taking the time to post, if the gallery is slow, or I've got to be somewhere 5 minutes ago, KWIM? Anyway, I think yes, it's annoying, but also flattering in the way that they contact you directly for your input.
I also find that cards that are linked to a challenge typically get more traffic, and there are certain times of day that uploads get seen more than others. Also, there are 'known names' here on SCS that draw more attention...I of course, am not one of them, but I know I frequent some users galleries specifically, to see what they've been up to.
I'm sure my post didn't help your feelings, but you did ask for opinons right?
BTW- I'm a frequent user of the "gorgeous" or "I love it!" comments, and I love to get them back too!
I try to include as many details as possible when I upload for several purposes:
1. I personally appreciate details about a project that may not be obvious to the eye, or sources of where to get something unique used in a project, so I try to provide the same on my own uploads here at SCS.
2. I deal with an unbelievable amount of communiques daily that I can't keep up with as it is . . . Providing as many details as possible at the time of upload saves me incredible hours later on (helps reduce the emails/PMs)
I'm tickled to death with views, and comments are icing on the cake, but, quite honestly, I personally do not post my artwork here for validation from others.
That said, I would agree that a request, prefaced with an expression of appreciation, is always welcomed, whereas one without, seems more like a rude "demand" or sense of expectation/entitlement.
For example:
"I fell in love with your ______ card! When you have time, I would love to know how you did ______ (or where you found those_____ you used). Thank you so much, and I appreciate your time, and you sharing that project with us in the galleries."
is sooooooooooo much nicer than, for example, an email or PM like the following:
"Do you have a pattern for _______? I want to use this in a class tomorrow."
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Which of the above messages makes you feel happy, appreciated, and inclined to respond to? :grin:
And, which one makes you feel like the person just wants what they want, doesn't care about your time, or the effort you put into the project, as long as they can take, take, take and use it for their own purposes without so much as an expression of simple courtesy? :?
I *never* assume that just because someone shared a photo of a lovely project they created, that I, as the viewer, am "entitled" to any details about a project uploaded, including patterns, sources, explicit instructions, etc.
When they are provided, however, I am thankful from the bottom of my heart, because I *know* how much time and effort they take to create and provide.
So, in that sense, I can definitely empathize with what the OP may be trying to convey . . .
__________________ Julie Ebersole (JulieHRR once upon a time . . . )julieebersole.com"So shines a good deed in a weary world." -Willy Wonka
Thanks Julie... you've made some good points. I did not save the messages that I received from non-commentors just because my feelings were more "out of sight (in my inbox) out of mind!" I think I would have probably felt better about it if the messages had something more than just "would you share the pattern" but they were pretty basic requests. The people who did leave comments and asked for directions I have emailed and many of them responded with thanks, and details of what they plan to do and I'm enjoying that. I guess I'm just more of a needful person, and love to have that praise and appreciate others seeing it, too. I'm always very impressed when I see people's galleries that have 20, 30, 40+ comments on things, and wish that I was as good a stamper to get the same amounts all the time. So the comments mean a lot to me. Thanks Julie, for sharing your opinions... I greatly value anything you have to say and enjoy benefitting from your talents!
I guess for me, when I have PM'd someone asking for directions I start of the note with a comment about how much I liked the item I am asking for. I don't then turn around and add a comment. I assume that my comment in the PM is comment enough.
. . . I think I would have probably felt better about it if the messages had something more than just "would you share the pattern" but they were pretty basic requests.
Of course! That's only natural!
What I find disheartening is a general/societal lack of appreciation and courtesy that seems to be prevelant these days . . .
Someone once commented to me, "If you're gonna show the project, then you had better share the pattern because you know we want it."
:shock:
Excuuuuuuuuuuse me??????
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I think:
NOT.
__________________ Julie Ebersole (JulieHRR once upon a time . . . )julieebersole.com"So shines a good deed in a weary world." -Willy Wonka
Oh and I wonder if we can ask for a favorites tally. On my decorating site, it shows how many people have your cake photo in their favorites file. SO, maybe that would give us a morale booster by number, if not by comment. KWIM?
This is such a great idea! Sometimes I add cards to my favorites with the intention of going back and adding a commnet, but unfortunately that doesn't always happen. There have been times when I wanted to post a card in a "favorites of the week" thread out of my favorites and shamefully realized that I hadn't even left a comment for the artist. I think people would be surperised by how many of us save their cards to our favorites.
It's just good manners to give a compliment before you ask someone for a big favor! (And for me to send someone a template, that would be a huge favor!) I wouldn't dream of asking you to go to the trouble of sending me the template without telling you how much I like your art work first! Whether it was a comment on the original upload or in their pm request to you, they should have acknowledged how much they liked your work, IMHO.
I did not really realize that I could start a thread and attach the PDF file with the pattern for the triangle box! Here is the thread for anyone else that is interested, and at the good advice of JulieHRR, I will also edit the triangle box in my gallery and add this link!
No, I don't think it's rude at all to request info about projects without leaving a comment first. Some people have very slow connections, which makes leaving comments in the gallery an agonozing process.
I'm sorry you feel that way, but many other people are willing to share without being "paid" first. When I request info, I always praise the project and tell the person how creative it is and how I would love to copy it, if they would allow me to. I don't demand they share it...it is, after all, *their* project and we aren't entitled to it.
I personally think it's rude to ignore requests for info, just because they aren't worded the way you like. If you would prefer not to share, politely tell the person you would prefer not to share.
There have been times that I have left comments for a particular card/project and asked in the comment how it was done, then I save it in my favorites and refer back to it to see if the person has responded. Sometimes, especially if it is an old post that i've come upon because I'm looking up a particular stamp set, the person doesn't see my post and doesn't respond. That is the main reason I have pm'ed someone and asked for directions without posting a comment on the card/project itself. It's definetely not because I haven't loved the item, so thanks for this thread and I will remember to post as well as pm. I just love all the great stuff you scs'ers come up with and love to CASE great ideas! (and I always give credit!) I'm just thankful that everyone I've asked questions of is so friendly and willing to help out those of us that are more artistically challenged!
Does this happen to you, too?
