Splitcoaststampers.com - the world's #1 papercrafting community
You're currently viewing Splitcoaststampers as a GUEST. We pride ourselves on being great hosts, but guests have limited access to some of our incredible artwork, our lively forums and other super cool features of the site! You can join our incredible papercrafting community at NO COST. So what are you waiting for?
A friend's Dear Husband, helping her with candlemaking, poured the extra melted wax down the kitchen sink!! Of course it immediately hardened. He had to take the trap and all apart under the sink. No permanent harm, but years of embaraasment every time she tells on him.
I just thought we might post some of our DHs "most helpful tricks" that went awry.
*going to eat some spaghettios while I think of another*
When my dh and I first married and moved into our house, he had a day off while I worked. To help out, he decided to do tons of laundry... He washed every dress I owned (because they were not hung up yet). I can still remember coming home and finding a huge pile of clothes of dry clean only clothes that were ruined!!! I simply sat on the floor and cried. I actually owned a silk dress that had started to shread, and of course, a couple of woal items that shrunk a few sizes... Needless to say, I do all the laundry now.
I am soooo gonna get in trouble for this. Chris and I have been together for 10yrs and at our 1st "family" Christmas he decided to make deviled eggs. Well instead of cutting them the way you are supposed to (so they rest nicely) he cut them the wrong way (so they looked like weeble wobbles). To this day.......everytime we get together for a family event some smart ***** has to cut ONE egg the wrong way just to embarrass Chris. It is hilarious!!!!
Okay, weeble wobble deviled eggs has me dying over here!!
When we were first married, Don tried to pull some of that "I don't know how to" balogna on me. I was having terrible migraines due to the birth control pills, so I'd get really mad when I'd ask him for help with making "dinner" and he'd tell me something dumb, like he couldn't make chili dogs because he doens't know how to work a can opener. Well, he learned that day, and never said that one again.
Also, one time when I was still having the bad migraines, he made Rice a Roni. He didn't read the box, so he didn't add water. It was VERY crunchy Rice a Roni! And you'll notice that he didn't tell me he couldn't do it!
I still tease him about the crunchy Rice a Roni when I make it!
I was working one Saturday late in the fall and my dh decided that he would help me "weed" the front lawn. When I got home from work, he was so proud of the work that he had done all day! He dug out the 10 large hardy mums (perennials) that I had planted because they were starting to die. I was ready to kill him because I HATE planting and it had taken me all day to do them and I figured at least they would come back every year! Not to mention that they were expensive!!
My DH wanted to make me breakfast in bed on our anniversary morning a few years back. He thought he would be creative and make a "special" scrambled eggs. He added a couple of teaspons of vanilla. One bite was enough for me. He and the kids still make me breakfast in bed for me on Mother's Day, but waffles or french toast is served, no eggs.
__________________ Janet
Home is the best place to be. Home is where I want to be. Sometimes, it is nice to get away.
I have a hashbrown casserole recipe that's fairly easy to make. I always use spicey shredded mexican cheese in it. One day my husband was made it. We were eating dinner and the casserole just did not taste right. I couldn't eat it, it was bad. I kept asking him what he put different in it. He finally fessed up to in addition to adding the spicey mexican cheese, we had also a partial bag of italian cheese, the kind with seasonings in it, like garlic and oregono and basil. Not a good mix with jalepeno, cumin and cilantro. YUCK!!! :P
Oh My! A couple of these posts are more sad than funny. Sorry Bonnie Beal about your clothes.
Emily, the weeble wobble eggs are hilarious!
Janet, Vanilla in the eggs!? that one IS funny.
this one still has me baffled everytime i think about it. it was after our second was born and she was at that eating stage where she was beginning solids. i was going to be gone for a few hours and left her with dh with feeding instructions - add the fruit to the cereal before you give it to her. i come home to a screaming and very hungry baby. my dh had tried to feed her - even mixed the fruit with the cereal - but she just wouldn't take it. when i looked at what he had tried to feed her i almost died - he had taken canned fruit (instead of the babyfood fruit) and chopped it up into chuncks, mixed it with the cereal and couldn't understand why this little baby, WITH NO TEETH, wouldn't eat his chuncky cereal. i could possibly, maybe understand if it was his first - but it wasn't! that was thirty years ago and, being the mean spouse i am, it still comes up occasionally.
DH offered to make me some soup after a few miserable hours battling morning sickness. Sweet thought but he should have at least read the part about adding a can of water. Thick, spicy soup!
My hubby is a City/Mama's Boy who had never gone camping before. He and I were married about 1 year and were going camping with some friends. I had to work until the afternoon we were leaving so I left 2 - count them, 2 - things for him to pack. 1) the cooler stocked with ice (we'd stop at the grocery on the way) and 2) a lighter for fires (we weren't smokers so this required a trip to the store).
He picks me up! Off we go! We stop at the store for food & as I start to put it in the cooler he tells me, "no room in there - it's full." I just let it go & put the groceries in the trunk for then. We get up there - unpack, set up the tent & finally are getting ready to try to scrounge up something to eat. I open the cooler and what is in it?
One pack of soggy matches, two wet newspapers (he says he would use them to start the fire with . . .) and 12, yes 12, ice cube TRAYS! I could have killed him! What was he thinking!? We had no fire - luckily one of the guys we were with had been a boy-scout and started us one the old-fashioned way (remember Tom Hanks in Castaway?).
We've been married 14 years now & he still catches S#%*! every time anyone mentions fire OR ice! Goober.
I just realized that a lot of things happened on Sundays after the kids and I had taken off for church. DH was suppose to come in his car, but one Sunday he decided to put some kind of weed killer on some plants and he mixed it in my favorite salad bowl - and then denied it. Needless to say, I threw the bowl out. Another Sunday he sawed off all the lower limbs of the old evergreens on our property. Very weird looking trees.
Another time, I came home from church to discover that he "cooked" something in a pan sitting right on the burner (gas) since I had put the grids and drip pans into soak for the 3 hours we would be in church.
Uh - I am divorced from this guy but this stuff went on for 23 years...sometime I will have tell you about how he "lost" me for 3 hours at the NY World's Fair on our honeymoon.
My DH just told me this a couple of months ago, that a few years back, we had been to a Japanese Resturant. You know where the chef does all the crazy show? Well dh told me he was trying to make an onion flame like they do at the resturant. He tells me now that he even went to the store especially to get the onion.
These apartments were brand new. He is telling me now that I must have just forgotten that he did this, that he really did tell me this 7 years ago!
Yeah right! I think that I would remember that!!
My DH was a sweetie, but he was totally inept when it came to home repairs. It was a Saturday afternoon in November. It was cold out. We were having friends over for bridge that evening. The kitchen sink stopped up. The tried-and-true remedies didn't work, so DH hopped in the car and went down to our local hardware store. Brought back sulphuric acid & poured the whole thing down the drain. Of course, some splashed & ruined the finish on my stainless steel sink. This did not work, so Step 2 was initiated, which involved going to the basement & opening the pipe. He got on a ladder, loosened up the pipe thingy, without a bucket, of course, so the stuff went everywhere, including DH's face! Oh, what a sight! Lucky he had his glasses on - the rest of his face was black with this slimy, smelly stuff. He looked ridiculous with a "what the h--- happened?" look. This ugly, black ooze went all over the floor and smelled to high heaven! Well, we had to open all the windows (it was cold, of course) and scrub everything in that part of the basement - keeping in mind that company was coming in just a little while. We used every kind of room freshener that existed, and our friends looked at us a bit strangely, but all ended well. We teased him about this for years.
I had spent over a year working on a crewel embroidery piece to be framed. When I finished I told my husband I would wash it first. I left the house and he thought he would do me a favor and wash it but not by hand�..in the machine!!! My red barn was now fuzzy and all over and distorted!
It took me days of snipping with tiny scissors to get the yarn fuzz off and then I had to stretch it out using an iron. After all that extra work I could never get rid of it so it hangs in our basement now. He didn�t see anything wrong with the fuzz that made a blurry barn; I guess he thought it was a dust storm.
I love the egg story Shanon! I hope the container for them had sides. I just can�t stop laughing at the thought of Weeble eggs sliding off the plate as they are being past around the table! Poor Chris! If they wouldn�t do disgusting things in shipment I�d mail him one myself!
My brother decided to get married the day after my sons birthday, so the rehersal dinner was on his birthday, he was 5. So we decided to do an ice cream cake at the rehersal dinner since the family would be gathered.
After we left the church and headed to the resturant, my husband stopped at DQ and got the cake. He met us at the resturant and we went ahead with the dinner and party. After we finished eating I asked the waitress to bring the cake out....her response "Um...what cake?"
My husband had left the cake in the car! An ice cream cake in April left in the car!! His response..."it wasn't that warm out, I thought it'd be okay"
WOW!!
Needless to say my family & I ROTFLOAO whenever someone brings it up!
__________________ Jenn
My kids and I on Mother's Day, they are getting a bit big to be sitting on my lap! Mom to Kevin 14, Keenan 11, and Maximo, the Great Dane, 4
Let's see, other than using new washclothes to clean the bathroom with (he still does not understand why it is a problem. Hello, bleach!!) My husband is absolutely perfect and has never made a mistake. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OK, now that I am back in my chair. The most recent Faux Pas has to do with our Memorial Day weekend trip up to Ohio with friends of ours. We went to Cedar Point amusement park all day Saturday and spent the night near the park. EARLY Sunday morning we got up to go fishing his dad. Well, we were supposed to meet at the boat at 7am. When we left at 5:30am in an area that had restaurants, none were opened yet. When we get to the docks DH swore that the bait and tackle shop also had a deli in it and a convienience store. Nope that was the other place his father used to dock out of. So we had no coffee that morning and only 2 bags of chips to eat all day for 6 of us. I threw a fit, because, yes, we were early and DH refused to go down the road to the one restaurant nearby and get us any food. To make matters worse, I was 4 weeks pregnant with twins (didn't know at all that I was preg) and was STARVING when we got to the boat, not to mention by the time we came off the water at 3:00.
Our friends were not happy with the situation either but figured I was pouting enough for all of us! He knows that he will never live it down. But he simply was too excited to go fishing to worry about food.
My husband, who does not take his dishes to the counter much less the sink, change a light bulb or take out the trash has this story. It is well known by all family and friends that "Doug" and manual labor do not go together. Well we were at his sisters house and we asked him to take his dishes to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. He goes to the kitchen and yells "where's the dishwasher" The entire room bust out laughing and he still gets teased to this day about it. But I still love em!!
Recently, my husband offered to stop at the stores for me on the way home from work in order to save on gas. I gave him 3 things to buy at one store and 2 things to buy at the grocery store. He called from the first store to ask me about one of the items because he could not find it and about the size on one of the others. Then off to the grocery store he went.
Well, one of the items I asked him to get at the grocery store was London Broil. The store had it on sale buy 1 get 2 free. I love to stock up when they have this deal. So, I figured he'd spend about $11 on 3 with this deal.
When he got to the meat department, he couldn't find the London Broil. The guy at the meat counter asked if he could help. My husband said, "My wife sent me in to buy London Broil because it is buy 1 get 2 free and I can't find it." The meat guy says, "Oh, I talked to her. I told her it was really big, but she insisted that it is what she wants." My husband, "Well, she knows what she's talking about, so, I will take it." (Notice here, no where did he ask exactly who the meat guy talked to. He just took it for granted that it was me and didn't bother to call me to check it out.) So, he buys the meat and brings it home.
The first thing that I said to him when he walked in the door was, "What the ?*#* were you thinking?" Are you ready for this....He brought home three 22 pound London Broils! 66 pounds of meat!!!! We don't even have a freezer other than the one above our refridgerator! Needless to say, I had to drive the 30 minutes back to the store to return the meat. So, we didn't save on gas which was the whole point of him going to the store!
At first I was really mad, but the more I thought about it, the funnier it became! My whole family and all of my friends think it is hysterical. He will never live this down!
Okay, the London Broil story is hilarious - my Dh would SO do that!! He is very intelligent, graduated near the top of his class in medical school but the man has no common sense. One time, right after we married, we were living in this dumpy apartment because we were both in school. The toilet seat was cracked and we kept calling the landlord to get it fixed and he would never come. Dh finally gets tired of this and says he'll fix it himself. The bolts holding the seat to the base of the toilet had completely rusted and he couldn't get them out. So what does he do to loosen them? Chip at them with a crow bar and a rubber mallet!!! When I got home from classes the entire toilet was cracked and leaking - that call got the landlord's attention!!! Needless to say, our lease was not renewed and we had to find a new apartment.
I'm a bit worried because last week he bought a saw - a real one, a power one! So far he hasn't done any major damage but it is only a matter of time.
DH offered to make me some soup after a few miserable hours battling morning sickness. Sweet thought but he should have at least read the part about adding a can of water. Thick, spicy soup!
That must be a universally male screw-up! LOL A couple of years ago, we were camping and I dumped a can of Campbells in the pot, then I told my DS to go get some water in the can and bring it back. My DH said, "He doesn't need to wash the can out! Just throw it away!" I told DH it was FOR the pot...you have to add water. The look on his face was priceless. Apparently, he went through a case of Chicken Noodle in doctoral school and "for the life of" himself, couldn't figure out why it tasted so salty and awful!! He said he vowed never to eat canned soup again... the PhD candidate didn't READ THE CAN to find out that you had to add WATER!! LOL
My hubby's biggest craft "oopsy" was when I was making soap one year. I had finished pouring the soap in the molds and I set the bowl aside because I was moving the molds to the refridgerator. I normally dump the excess soap into the trash can. But, noooooooo, hubby decided he was going to wash it down the sink. LOL!! *bubbles bubbles everywhere* LOL!! It took him a good twenty minutes to wash the bowl because the soap just "WOULD NOT GO DOWN!" I was rolling on the floor in hysterics. I finally got up and took the bowl from him, wiped it out with paper towels, and then handed it back to him to finish rinsing.
__________________ "Just because it's unexplicated does not make it unexplicable." - HOUSE
I've been married to the same guy for 22 years now and he hasn't had too many of these, but...
My DH only really cooks on the grill. He can make grilled cheese, he can make box macaroni and cheese, he can fry eggs....but that's about it.
So when I had my surgery to remove half of my thyroid, he decided to cook spaghetti for the kids. I had 3 pound package I'd bought recently, so he decided to make it all!
Well, first, it's way too much pasta for one man and two kids out of three that will even eat spaghetti, but he figured he'd make it all and then they could eat it for meals whenever they got hungry.
Second, you need a big pot of water just to cook ONE pound of pasta all at once, so when he cooked three in roughly the same size pot, it didn't come out well at all. He had a great big pot of sticky, starchy, clumpy spaghetti...I ended up throwing it all out after I got well enough because it was just inedible, LOL!
I don't have a DH (yet) but these stories remind me of something my mother told me about my father (still her husband after 38 years!) when they were first married.
My mother was out of town for a few days for something and left my father at home to fend for himself. They lived in a house with an automatic dishwasher, which my father knew how to load & turn on, etc. What he didn't know was that you couldn't substitute dishwashing liquid (for hand washing) for dishwasher detergent. He figured soap is soap right? WRONG!
Let's just say he managed to get things cleaned up before the house was overrun by suds. When my mother got home she noticed the kitchen floor looked really clean. He eventually confessed & they had a good laugh.
I never knew this until one day I heard someone at work talk about doing the same thing & when I mentioned it to my mother she said "Oh yeah, your father did that years ago!" It's one of many funny family stories that comes up now & again.
What he didn't know was that you couldn't substitute dishwashing liquid (for hand washing) for dishwasher detergent. He figured soap is soap right? WRONG!
Anne
Reminds me of the first time we had a hotel room with a jacuzzi and DH put bubble bath in it. OMG, Lawrence Welk never saw that many bubbles in his life time! Lesson to be learned here...NO BUBBLE BATH IN A JACUZZI!
Reminds me of the first time we had a hotel room with a jacuzzi and DH put bubble bath in it. OMG, Lawrence Welk never saw that many bubbles in his life time! Lesson to be learned here...NO BUBBLE BATH IN A JACUZZI!
Roxie,
LOL - I forgot, I did that once in a jacuzzi tub w/my fiance' at the time. We laughed so hard at the mountain of bubbles one little capful of bubble bath made.
My brother has one of these tubs in his house & I told him 'never put bubble bath in there with the jets on unless you're looking for an easy way to clean your ceiling & walls.'
Anne, we wanted so bad to use the jacuzzi that we carried them to the shower and it filled it up and they were still there in the morning! We've never stopped laughing about that one and at just the mention of jacuzzi we crack up all over again!
Anne, we wanted so bad to use the jacuzzi that we carried them to the shower and it filled it up and they were still there in the morning! We've never stopped laughing about that one and at just the mention of jacuzzi we crack up all over again!
LMAO - that is sooo funny! We were the same way, we just turned off the jets for awhile & kept trying to 'smoosh' down the bubbles! Eventually it all subsided & we were able use the jacuzzi w/the jets on w/out a mountain o'suds!
Thank you all so much for brightening my day - my son is sitting here staring at me as I laugh uncontrollably with tears streaming down my face.
I have to say I have a gem of a hubby. He's super handy and can fix nearly anything, and also knows his way around the kitchen. It may be a huge mess when he's done, but it will be a great meal! And while I haven't gotten him to stamp yet, he does like to make candles with me. There's truly nothing that comes to mind as far as these type stories - but the one area he still *REALLY* needs to get a clue in would be tactfulness. Our family still harasses him about the one Christmas he referred to me as "Chia Brow." I so do not have bushy eyebrows, but he somehow thought it would be a cute and affectionate nickname after our nephew opened his gift from Great Grandma. Hmmmm...
When we were first living together, DH decides to get up early on my birthday and sneak off to the store to buy stuff to make breakfast. I was awoken by the smoke detector and him cussing! I ventured out to hear him saying "stupid french toast!" He told me what he was doing and i offered to help him cook the french toast. Nope, he didn't want any french toast now! Of course, he was cooking it on high! He still does this, even though I've told him he needs to turn things down, he cooks them all on high so they'll cook faster. Of course, he also curses the fact that I don't have teflon coated pans. Um, sorry, stuff never sticks to them when I cook!! LOL!
I always handwash my bras, and I used to use a specific large bowl, only for that. I would sometimes leave them soaking in the water, occasionally forgetting about them for a few hours.
After I started dating Chris, (who is now my DH), he came home late one night after his 2-11 shift, and I had fallen asleep on the couch. He woke me up to ask me "Hun, what kinda soup is that you made?" In my sleepy state of mind, I was really clueless what he was referring to, until he said "in the green bowl"
To this day, I tease him about having "bra soup" for dinner!......LOL
My DH just had a good oops this past week. Our DD turned 8 years old 2 weeks ago. My sister got her 2 fish for her birthday. Well low and behold they didn't last a week. (We've never had any luck with fish.) My sister felt bad and took her to a better pet store to get another one. This time the one fish cost $8! (which I think is totally outrageous) My sister handed me the slip and said it has a 15 day guarantee. If it dies within 15 days bring it back with a water sample. I told my husband that and off we went adding the fish to the tank. By the time my husband came home from work this one was gone. (He actually didn't look well from the beginning.) I pointed to the tank without alerting my daughter. She ran around, looked at the fish, and moved on. We ate dinner, bathed the kids and put them to bed. I finally took a minute to sit down and watch TV. Next thing I know I hear the toilet flushing and DH singing a song. Yup you guessed it! He flushed it! I started screaming at him why he did that and his response was "oh I wasn't suppose to do that?" Within a few minutes my daughter comes running downstairs saying I forgot to feed my fish and say good-night! You guessed it! Nothing to say good-night to! I just pointed her in the direction of my husband. He had to deal with the endless crying. He got on the phone to call the pet store to see what time they were opened until and what he needed to do to get a new fish. Well... no dead fish, no new fish... what a shock! Anyway we did find out we hadn't ran our tank long enough before adding the fish so there was problem #1... He's taking her this weekend to try again... I think he learned his lesson.
When we were first living together, DH decides to get up early on my birthday and sneak off to the store to buy stuff to make breakfast. I was awoken by the smoke detector and him cussing! I ventured out to hear him saying "stupid french toast!" He told me what he was doing and i offered to help him cook the french toast. Nope, he didn't want any french toast now! Of course, he was cooking it on high! He still does this, even though I've told him he needs to turn things down, he cooks them all on high so they'll cook faster. Of course, he also curses the fact that I don't have teflon coated pans. Um, sorry, stuff never sticks to them when I cook!! LOL!
Jenica!!! lol! OK...The tears are coming! "stupid french toast"! Love it!
I don't necessarily have any good stories yet. WE have only been married for less than 3 years. What I can say that is funny or quirky is that he leaves a trail of whatever he has had in his hands or on his body all over the house. Ok...I know where Mitch has been...here are his socks....there are his shoes....there is his coat....briefcase....pants are in the bathroom....shirts are NEXT to the hamper. And so on....maybe I am the only how has a DH like that. It goes for tools and dishes as well. Wait until we have kids. I will be following more than one trail!!!
My DH is really smart but lacks common sense. I am the "handy man" around our house. I was at church one time and he decided to hang some pictures up for me in the hall. When I got home, we had 20 holes in the wall for three pictures. I didn't say anything. I walked to the garage tool box and got my stud finder. I held it up to him and said "No stud here!!"
Another time he was trying to hook up his surround sound stereo system. He had no clue. At 2 am he still didn't have it close to done. While he was at work the next day, I totally finished it and even mounted his speakers on the wall with just two screws each. When he got home, he made me sit down and teach him how I did it.
This is a guy that graduated Validictorian of his HS and Summa Cum Laude from his college. I graduated HS #63 of 425 and some college. God that felt good!!
Now he will say to the clerk at Home Depot "Ask her--It's her project!"
Location: I'm in the secret sister protection program.
Posts: 3,141
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancejan
I just realized that a lot of things happened on Sundays after the kids and I had taken off for church. DH was suppose to come in his car, but one Sunday he decided to put some kind of weed killer on some plants and he mixed it in my favorite salad bowl - and then denied it. Needless to say, I threw the bowl out. Another Sunday he sawed off all the lower limbs of the old evergreens on our property. Very weird looking trees.
Another time, I came home from church to discover that he "cooked" something in a pan sitting right on the burner (gas) since I had put the grids and drip pans into soak for the 3 hours we would be in church.
Uh - I am divorced from this guy but this stuff went on for 23 years...sometime I will have tell you about how he "lost" me for 3 hours at the NY World's Fair on our honeymoon.
~Nancy~
See, this is why men need church. You just can't leave some of them home alone.
Location: I'm in the secret sister protection program.
Posts: 3,141
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by scarlett75
My hubby's biggest craft "oopsy" was when I was making soap one year. I had finished pouring the soap in the molds and I set the bowl aside because I was moving the molds to the refridgerator. I normally dump the excess soap into the trash can. But, noooooooo, hubby decided he was going to wash it down the sink. LOL!! *bubbles bubbles everywhere* LOL!! It took him a good twenty minutes to wash the bowl because the soap just "WOULD NOT GO DOWN!" I was rolling on the floor in hysterics. I finally got up and took the bowl from him, wiped it out with paper towels, and then handed it back to him to finish rinsing.
I'm going to wake up the hubby and kids this is so funny. I can just picture you getting up off of the floor, tears streaming down your cheeks, barely able to breathe, let alone stand up straight, wiping the bowl and then falling down laughing again.
Has your DH ever done this?
