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I have been reading thorugh all these laughing my butt off....now ladies I need some help. I am looking for a saying or sentiment that would go with a cold fridge? Can anyone help?
I have been reading thorugh all these laughing my butt off....now ladies I need some help. I am looking for a saying or sentiment that would go with a cold fridge? Can anyone help?
I have been reading thorugh all these laughing my butt off....now ladies I need some help. I am looking for a saying or sentiment that would go with a cold fridge? Can anyone help?
What type of a sentiment are you looking for? Funny, sexy?
__________________ Brenda
<-My sibling kitties, Milo and Rousseau
I love all this wide range of humor that everyone has shared!!! I am also posting so I can save this and refer back on the days when only laughter can help!!!!! Thanks for all the funnies!!!!!
wow- what a great thread! I wish I had of found this when it started but definitely hitting the subscribe button now! These are absolutely priceless!! Laughed until I cried! lol- just to add to the thread- I reading the status updates on Facebook and one of my "prim and proper" friends- had me busting a laugh- (you would have to know this gal!!)- her status update read:
" I wanted to send you something really cute for the holidays"
But the mail man told me to take the stamp off my "butt"
and get out of the mail box.
I might have to try stamp that some how- along with the other ten million quirky posts lol.
Thanks for sharing Ladies!
__________________ Laurie-Ann
"I am on a mission to share the SU! addiction!"
I have been laughing out loud and trying not to wake up the household!!! Thank you, thank you for these posts!!!! You have made my day....night.....actually, its morning now!
Keep 'em coming, girlfriends! I can't wait to read more!
Location: wishing I was in London but you'll likely find me on my couch
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Wow--this thread has been around for years but someone found it and brought it forward'---so much fun
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your brother."
"As I grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine."
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.
Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. - George Burns
Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want.
I'm full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
"I feel like a newborn baby."
"Really? Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.� ~Tracy Smith
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" ~Unknown
"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit." ~ Unknown
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." ~ Victor Borge
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year's gifts.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Dilbert
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Winston Churchill
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.
Mae West
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.
Oliver Goldsmith
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
Brendan Behan
Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
George Bernard Shaw
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
George Burns
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Oprah Winfrey
Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
John Benfield
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging.
Denis Healey
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
Spike Milligan
I just love Chinese food. My favourite dish is number 27.
Clement Atlee
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Homer Simpson
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
David Brent
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
If it sells, it's art.
Frank Lloyd
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
Rita Rudner
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Ed Furgol
Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
David Brent
Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is.
Oscar Wilde
You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
David Brent
This was a fun surprise to find in my in-box this morning! Glad bowhallj bumped it (and it looks like it's one of your first posts so welcome!). BoundforLondon, those were some good ones!!
One of my recent favorites that I paired with this stamp is "I hate it when someone gives me a gift and says, 'if you don't like it, you can return it.' Uh, thanks you just gave me an errand."-Jim Gaffigan
And also I love the six-word memoirs books (note to teachers: this is also a super-fun and sometimes insightful assignment), my favorite one being "Without me, life is just aweso."
Oh, and one that was on a card my SIL sent to my DH, "Any pan is non-stick if you no-cook."
I've printed a list of these quirky sayings and today I was doing some scrapping and the first thing I did was consult this printed list and I found what I was looking for!
Love this thread
Love these! Here are my 2 ...where is the cents sign on the keyboard?
