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I can definitely related. My DH is in Afghanistan and I can't find the energy or motivation to scrap or stamp since he left. No advice, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Definitely my mood will affect my creativity, just not always the same. Sometimes I lose myself in it and other times just stare blank at the cardstock. Sorry to hear you are feeling so blue! HUGS
I am sure your creativity will come and go with moods. I have creative times and then not so much. Hang in there, Like the one lady said come here and look for inspiration its all over!! lol
Sarah
Maybe just copying a card you like from the gallery will jump start your creativity? Or at least take your mind to some place more pleasant and fun! Forget creative in the sense of "never been done before" and go for "I just made something I really like!"
YOU belong here, YOU really do!!! YOU are a survivor and so is your son. Wow, what you have been thru it is understandable that you would be depressed. Perhaps you need to get some meds for your depression. As far a creativity, we all lose it as some point. Copy a card that you like and I'm sure that you will be changing it up a bit and getting your creative juices flowing. Or try one of the challenges to get you stamping. I find that I get lost in my stamping and it is certainly good therapy. Keep on posting; you belong to a group of wonderful people.
{{{hugs}}}
___________
Beverly
I want to echo Beverly....this is a great place and yes, you do belong.
How very brave of you to share your story. I agree that it is difficult to "create" when feeling down. Many of us look at stamping/scrapbooking/crafting as therapy and a place to "just be"! Sounds like you are a tremendous individual with great personal strength. Also sounds like you need someone to share with and give back to you.
I hope you keeping fighting the good fight! And sharing feelings so they are known.
While you are unable to create your own art, it may be just a good time to save and store up ideas of others that spur your interests....save a lot into "my favorites" until the day you can put the ink to paper yourself! Best wishes to you!!
__________________ "You can't talk yourself out of problems you behaved yourself into." Albert Einstein
Sorry you are so blue! You are doing the right thing by trying to examine why you have the feelings you do. Remember you ultimately are in charge of your own happiness and while we can draw happiness from other's pool you have to fill your own bucket up.
Pleaes know this is not ment as harsh or preachy just expressing something that has helped me through tough times. You are a strong lady and can change things to make them better for yourself.
As far as stamping I agree with others - search that Unforgettable gallery and find a card you can CASE. I think that might help push you out of your stamping rut. Then I suggest you send that card to someone in the RAK group...when I do things for others it always makes me happy
You've been through so much. Don't take this the wrong way, but have you thought about seeing a doctor about your depression? Anti-depressants work well for many people. Maybe you are just "stuck" with all you've been through and just need a jump-start. Men are just impossible some times, don't you think? Many really don't know how to deal with hardship and confront their feelings, so it comes out as ambivalence. I'm not saying he's right - I've just been there, sistah!
Oh dear. You have been, and are going through, so much. Of course, you will find many many folks here at SCS who have very difficult circumstances. Sometimes it is possible to lose yourself in stamping; other times not. Who knows why any of this happens?
I must echo a previous suggestion that you get checked out for clinical depression. You are going through a particularly rough patch, but it is also possible that you are clinically depressed as well. For many folks, drugs make a huge difference. Depression is a disease just like cancer or diabetes or appendicitis. Toughing it out and hoping for the best will not cure it. Working on your depression won't change your husband but it might give you internal resources to deal with all of this in a better way.
You can always come to SCS for inspiration and hugs.
__________________ Dear Paperlicious is my blog...with a series on how I'm learning to improve my cardmaking by studying others.
My thoughts are with you. I can't imagine going through so much at an already difficult time.
First of all, you need to realize that you have been and are going through something that is terribly traumatic. You need time to get over the realization of cancer...plus you are still recovering from having a baby. That's alot of hormones and emotions to have running rampant. Like other posters have said...maybe you would benefit from talking to your doctor. He/She might suggest meds but also might just suggest someone to talk to so that you are not keeping things bottled up inside.
As far as the creativity to me it is weird. There are times when I am so excited about getting time to scrapbook/stamp and my DH will say something stupid and I loose all creativity and feel like I have wasted my time. Then there are other times when I am not too happy with him and my creativity just flows. There are also times when I am in a great mood and I have time to scrap/stamp and I draw a blank. When those times hit I just decide it's OK to enjoy the company of my friends or the solitude (if I am alone).
Please know that you are never alone and I hope things take a turn towards the better for you. Blessings.
Wow... I can't believe this subject has come up on SCS but I'm so glad it has. You poor girl... feel free to PM me anytime you want to talk. For the last couple of months, I have been going through a period of severe anxiety. Not for the same reasons but the feelings of despair are still the same.
I have a daughter who has lupus.. she's had it since she was 6 (she's 23 now). It's getting worse.. and she just had her hip replaced due to a vascular necrosis caused by all her years taking prednisone. To make it worse.. I live in Pennsylvania and she's still in Connecticut (where I was born and raised). I moved here to be with my fiance a few years ago, and while I love him dearly and he treats me like a queen.. I now feel trapped and wish I could move back home. On top of all that... I have a severe case of psoriasis that just caused me to leave my job because it's now all over my hands. I hate going out in public and feel like a prisoner in my own home.
I try to tell myself that no matter how bad I think I have it there are people out there who are so much worse off. But it's so hard not to be caught up in your own pain and problems. Stamping became my escape... but lately, with my hands and my anxiety, I've been going through the same thing you are. I seem to avoid my stamp room lately... don't even turn on my computer very much. I try to hide from the world instead.
I'm so glad you were brave enough to post! Maybe our problems aren't exactly the same... but the feelings are. It feels good to share mine ~ maybe it won't do any good, but hopefully you'll know you aren't alone. I went and got medication for my anxiety & depression recently, I think it would be good for you to do the same.
You sound like a sweet lady... your husband better smarten up. You deserve better. God bless you.
Hugs for all you sweet women suffering right now! Just remember life is a roller coaster and you'll eventually get an "up," and while you're in your down, keep your hope alive. Things will turn around eventually--and you'll be all the better for your experience.
I'm trying to come out of a "Down" right now, and I'm realizing how important people are (because when I'm depressed I keep to myself and avoid interaction.) Sharing your stories helps strengthen me. Thanks. My prayers are with you all. You are not alone.
Your first question, "Have you tried stamping while depressed?" Yes. Often. Have had chronic depression for many years. That's a long story.
Things that have helped me:
* Splitcoast swap deadlines have sometimes been exactly what I need. I am the Queen of Procrastination. Deadline coming... Oh No!... get working on the project... focus.... it takes my mind off of myself and gets me working on something.
* Cindy suggested to look in the gallery. Look for a set that you already have. I spend too much money on new stamps thinking I'll make better cards and that will lift me up. Doesn't work.
* Bible verse.... "I will be glad and rejoice in Your Love, for You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul." Psalm 31:7 The psalmist, David, really knew about depression. Many psalms begin in darkness but usually end with praise.
* Book... Overcoming Depression by Neil and Joanne Anderson. This is a Christian study book. Good to do as weekly lessons with a group of people so that you can talk about your similarities (which are many) and your differences (which turn out to be few).
I can definitely related. My DH is in Afghanistan and I can't find the energy or motivation to scrap or stamp since he left. No advice, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
I am right along with you!!
Before DH was home he would get crabby about me staying up Scrapping/Stamping late at night. He wanted to cuddle. Well I was not tired so........But now he is gone I have absolutely NOO mojo to really do any! I think I have made maybe 10 cards in the 15months he has been gone! I'm DYING to stamp/scrap though!!! Hoping to get my mojo back when he comes home in a cpl weeks!
I do feel for you about DH though cuz Mine was into his lil PS2! he wouldnt MOVE till he got his stage accomplished! TG that darn thing broke while he was down range!!!! HAHAHAHA
I am glad someone mentioned anti depressants. I would also like to mention maybe someone to talk to. therapist or clergy. I seen some statistics about who should be on anti depressants the # was huge. Frankly I am surprised they arent in the water, a good majority of us can use them. But some sole to sole talking with the hubby will help also. Good luck and we are here for stamping inspiration, and of course you can bend our ears and vent also. Big group hug for you and everyone else who needs one
__________________ I've waited my whole life to flirt with the MOUSE
I do have some advice that I can share from experience.
If you can't do this for yourself then do this for your children and when you are in doubt remind yourself you are doing this for your children.
Tell your mother in law that she can no longer use your car. You could offer to drive her to work but let her know that she'll need to find her own way home. You can also give her a list of chores that she can help with and remind her that she needs to pull her weight financially. Be firm and let her know that you mean it. Its your home too and you have a right to make rules and set limits.
For yourself, you could look for a part time job or sign up for some classes, such as stamping or even college classes or even both. I would also suggest that you get outside as often as you can. Take a walk and let your older son ride his bike with you. It will be good for all of you.
As far as medication, be sure to see your doctor, it is so important and it can make you feel so much better. You should also consider therapy. If money is tight call a crisis hotline and they should be able to find someone for you (sliding fee or free).
Remember that you are not just doing this for you but you're doing this for you children. They depend on you and need you so you need to take card of yourself. If your husband doesn't back you up you'll need to be strong enough to stand up for yourself.
I also suggest prayer. You might find a ladies group at a local church to join. They usually have daycare.
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{{{Hugs}}}
I am sorry sorry to hear that you are blue, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, I too survived cervical cancer during a pregnancy, with a husband that didn't care about me or the child, needless to say we have been happily divorced for 8 years, and I am married to a wonderful man now.
__________________ Kelly Emmie is my dog is case you were wondering Wanna read my Diary? Diaries Of A Stamper
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My heart goes out to you and your boys. I'm sure you have put your foot down with MIL & DH but its time you did it again. They are very hard on you and your living arrangements aren't helping your situation. I think if MIL has a job she should be one her own, not living off you and your hubby. Shame on her. Take care of yourself and your boys.
SCS is the best place for you right now. We are one big happy family, with many things to share especially our ideas and thoughts. Hang in there, girl.
{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Kathy
I do have some advice that I can share from experience.
If you can't do this for yourself then do this for your children and when you are in doubt remind yourself you are doing this for your children.
Tell your mother in law that she can no longer use your car. You could offer to drive her to work but let her know that she'll need to find her own way home. You can also give her a list of chores that she can help with and remind her that she needs to pull her weight financially. Be firm and let her know that you mean it. Its your home too and you have a right to make rules and set limits.
For yourself, you could look for a part time job or sign up for some classes, such as stamping or even college classes or even both. I would also suggest that you get outside as often as you can. Take a walk and let your older son ride his bike with you. It will be good for all of you.
As far as medication, be sure to see your doctor, it is so important and it can make you feel so much better. You should also consider therapy. If money is tight call a crisis hotline and they should be able to find someone for you (sliding fee or free).
Remember that you are not just doing this for you but you're doing this for you children. They depend on you and need you so you need to take card of yourself. If your husband doesn't back you up you'll need to be strong enough to stand up for yourself.
I also suggest prayer. You might find a ladies group at a local church to join. They usually have daycare.
Hang in there, you can do it.
I couldn't have said this better myself. As for counseling, I highly recommend it. I went through counseling when my then DH left me, and it really helped. Catholic Charities (you don't have to be Catholic to get help) and Lutheran Charities both offer counseling on a sliding scale, based on your income. CC is what I used and it was affordable and beneficial.
One way I find helps me is to go to the challenges. Especially the sketch challenge. The hard part has already been done with the challenges and I find it gives me the jump start I need to get me going when I just am to down to even get excited about stamping. This is one of the best places to be, among your SCS sisters, but don't forget you are human---that means you need a physical friend to be able to go to. Perhaps there are some stamping groups at a LSS or you could start one yourself in your home. Remember, your kids need you healthy all ways, physically, mentally and spiritually. Since we are social beings, being around others really is essential.
Hugs to you at such a difficult time. I will chime in to support the idea of seeking out some medical care. I got a great deal of relief from depression a couple of years ago with talk therapy alone so you might not even need the meds if that is what is stopping you. I think meds are a perfectly reasonable choice but I also wanted to use them as needed and it turned out the talk therapy did the trick.
As far as stamping, I am grieving the loss of my mother in May and I have been all over the board the past few months. Sometimes, it is nearly comical to me to think I could go make something pretty. Other times, like the last few weeks, it seems to be one of the few places I can find peace and some mental energy. It's very weird but I just try to roll with it and keep telling myself that grief is totally unpredictable. I just try to enjoy the relief when it works.
Since SCS seems like a safe haven for you, you might check out the support group threads and see if you can find a group there that speaks to you: Forums at Splitcoaststampers
ETA: looks like there is a depression group and one for Mother-In-Law issues.
Again, lots of hugs. Hope things get easier and better very soon.
I totally know how you feel. When I am experiencing true depression, I can't stamp at all! It is just a bad state of mind to be in. But when I come out of it, my whole view changes and I love to stamp again! I agree that you should go to your doctor, so please do so soon. Don't waste another day being depressed. (((((hugs!!!)))))
You've been given the best advice from all of the people who responded to you. Please know that you are in my prayers and thoughts...depression sucks the life right out of you...please see a dr. You'll be able to get the help you need...and know that you are loved and thought of! sending you big hugs!
Doing sketches, etc definitely help get you going- check our the depression forum under the support thread... we are all gathered and going through various things.
I have Lupus and after my high risk pregnancy which went well but was very stressful because of lots of monitoring, I have been battling postpartum depression and anxiety- I have ahistory of depression and panic disorder stemming from the Lupus alone. Even though my son is 15 months, I've had a hard time "Getting over it" so to speak. I've just begun stamping and it has helped though some days it is hhard to get motivated and quit buying more stuff to use for these "great ideas"...
God Bless and feel free to join us!
Kelley
__________________ Kelley- Mom to 2 beautiful boys and a princess! My blog: returning from a deep sleep!
I have a daughter who has lupus.. she's had it since she was 6 (she's 23 now). It's getting worse.. and she just had her hip replaced due to a vascular necrosis caused by all her years taking prednisone.QUOTE]
I was diagnosed at 14 with Lupus.. I hope that your daughter continues to get better and she is able to keep on living a "normal" life. HUGS!
__________________ Kelley- Mom to 2 beautiful boys and a princess! My blog: returning from a deep sleep!
Good heavens! I can see why you would be feeling down. You need to do some things for you! I agree with many others who suggested seeing a doctor. And I say this from experience, unfortunately. After my second child was born, I develop post-partum depression. It turns out that is didn't go away and I have had to be on medication for several years. BUT, I have my life back. It sounds like you really could use someone to talk to: whether it be a medical doctor (which you should see anyway) or a counselor. I also am a survivor of breast cancer. You've had too much straining your emotions!
You do belong here, but do try and see your doctor and see what else might help you feel better! PM me any time you need to talk!
This is outrageous. I cannot believe your MIL and DH are so insensitive to your situation. I agree that you need to stand up for yourself, if only because your kids need you to be healthy and happy.
Hugs for all you sweet women suffering right now! Just remember life is a roller coaster and you'll eventually get an "up," and while you're in your down, keep your hope alive. Things will turn around eventually--and you'll be all the better for your experience.
I'm trying to come out of a "Down" right now, and I'm realizing how important people are (because when I'm depressed I keep to myself and avoid interaction.) Sharing your stories helps strengthen me. Thanks. My prayers are with you all. You are not alone.
I agree with you, I too am coming out of a down also. I believe that this is just the way life is at least for me anyway. Things will get better, it just takes time.
Sometimes I found stamping to be a great release or escape when I felt really down, and sometimes I found it just frustrated me to no end to have the opportunity to scrapbook or make cards and have no creativity. For me, I found doing things like tidying or reorganising my crafting area, scoring and folding card bases, etc were positive things for me to do when I had the opportunity but no mojo. Maybe you can think of some craft-related activities to do when you don't want to frustrate yourself by trying to make a full card, but still feel like you are accomplishing some cardmaking goals.
And I also want to say, for me time and time again I've put off getting medical help for eye health issues, depression, etc. It took me a long time to realise that I was so reluctant to get the help because deep in my heart it felt like I was giving up on my faith in God and my faith in myself to agree to cataract surgery, going on antidepressants, etc. I've said a lot of prayers asking for a miracle to happen in my eye, for the cataract to dissolve and the large pieces floating inside my eye to be flushed away. I brought this up with my opthamologist, and he let me know that doctors can be viewed as a way for God to restore my sight. And I waited until I was so atrociously miserable and literally crying myself to sleep every night before I finally listened to my DH's encouragement to go to my doctor and let him help me. So just in case you are facing a similar mental block to some methods of treatment, that is my experience too.
royancoby, you are not alone. Many of us are praying for you and care about you. You are a strong woman. Take some of the steps that others before me have suggested. You need to get your life back for your children and for yourself.
Hugs.
__________________ christine m.aka summer and weekend stalker DOT INK (My yadda yadda) Don't magnify your problem . . .Magnify your God
PROUD MEMBER OF THE REDDIVAS!
I wish I could come over and give you a big hug. Your story touched me so much. I suffered years of depression without seeking help, and when I look back now I feel so sorry for the misery I caused my family because I was brought up to be "strong" and "get over it"! Yeah ... right! Only someone who has never suffered depression would say something like that. After going on antidepressants my life changed and I am so lucky to have a wonderfully supportive DH and children. Unfortunately both my (adult) children suffer from depression too, and my son's fiancee is a 'health nut' and tells him he doesn't need pills to make him well, although I know how much better he would be if he took them. My daughter had a total breakdown last year and is slowly getting her life back again, but it will always be with us, this terrible affliction. Listen to the other advice you've received - see your Dr about medication, and for your boys' sake, try to get the courage to speak to your MIL about pulling her weight so you can be in charge of your own home again. This will give you confidence and the strength to carry on I'm sure. My hugs and thoughts are with you. I hope you feel encouraged by the support you're getting on SCS. What a wonderful group of people they are. Thanks everyone for being so caring.
__________________ My BLOG My Splitcoast Gallery
Proud to have been on the Spring 2012 CAS Design Team
Happy Fan Club member.
Roynkoby, HUGS to you! I can't add too much more than what has already been said by these wonderful folks. Many kudos to you for being brave enough to express yourself here. We are pulling for you and want the best! There are times when all you need to do is simply just make time for yourself. If you're feeling crafty, then organize alittle, browse the gallery, CASE something so you don't have to expend too much creative energy until you are ready to focus on something more ambitious. These little things can really help get your mojo back.... I've learned (just like you said earlier) that SCS is a wonderful place for so many reasons, and everyone here really does care in one form or another! Maybe you can visit the "get it together" forum and see if there's anyone around in your city that might want to do a "stamp night" or has one that you can participate in. I organize a monthly craft club of about 25 ladies, and we really have a ball sharing "our time". It really does recharge my batteries, so to speak. Take care of yourself, for yourself and your little one's...
Depression is such a catch-22. You're depressed and vulnerable, so your strength to stand up for yourself goes out the window, but often what you really need is to be able to stand up for yourself and put an end to all the nonsense that's affecting you negatively.
Go see a doctor. Ask the doctor to recommend a good therapist. Make your appointments for early morning, before your MIL has to leave for work, so you have a car to take. Don't take your cell phone with you (or better yet, just don't answer it), so if you don't return in time for her to go to work, you aren't being bombarded with phone calls from her yelling at you. Get on medication, if the doctor thinks it will help. Once you start feeling better, your backbone will come back and you can start dealing with the things you're facing. But until you're feeling better, don't beat yourself up for not being able to fix them. Depression isn't something you can "just fix". It's an awful thing.
Your husband, was he a bonehead before you got depressed? Or could he be trying to escape a desperate situation (your depression and his mother)? Not that it makes it okay or right, but it might be that he just doesn't know what to do, so he runs. Not a lot of men handle emotions all that well. Or it could be that he's just a bonehead and you need to get better so you can take care of you.
As for creating, when I can't make cards because of something emotional, I paint. I throw a lot of what I paint away, because I'm not painting anything specific. I get out my paints and just make a huge mess on whatever paper is around. I pour out my feelings in the colors I use, and then when I'm all done, I feel better. I might not have made a thing, but I have taken my feelings outside of myself, and it's cathartic. I highly recommend it.
Good luck, sweetie. I can't imagine being stuck with an uncaring, demanding mother in law and a weenie for a husband. You deserve great things, you and your sons. Go see a doctor and a therapist, really. Take care of yourself.
I wish I could come over and give you a big hug. Your story touched me so much. I suffered years of depression without seeking help, and when I look back now I feel so sorry for the misery I caused my family because I was brought up to be "strong" and "get over it"! Yeah ... right! Only someone who has never suffered depression would say something like that. After going on antidepressants my life changed and I am so lucky to have a wonderfully supportive DH and children. Unfortunately both my (adult) children suffer from depression too, and my son's fiancee is a 'health nut' and tells him he doesn't need pills to make him well, although I know how much better he would be if he took them. My daughter had a total breakdown last year and is slowly getting her life back again, but it will always be with us, this terrible affliction. Listen to the other advice you've received - see your Dr about medication, and for your boys' sake, try to get the courage to speak to your MIL about pulling her weight so you can be in charge of your own home again. This will give you confidence and the strength to carry on I'm sure. My hugs and thoughts are with you. I hope you feel encouraged by the support you're getting on SCS. What a wonderful group of people they are. Thanks everyone for being so caring.
Just wanted to add that I was in a similar situation. I did not want to take meds because I felt that was a cop-out. However, when I finally did go see a doctor, he likened it to a diabetic needing insulin or needing medication for a heart condition. Depression can be caused by a true medical issue, not just emotional. Keep us posted. We care!
You've already taken a huge step toward being well by reaching out for help. God bless your courage.
Please please please take the time to be good to yourself. I highly recommend talking in person to a professional about your concerns. Medication has been a great help to many people. Please don't rule it out as an option.
May I also recommend starting a daily exercise routine? Even 20 minutes of steady state aerobic activity can release endorphins and improve your mood. Try it, you'll see it works!
thanks
