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I just had to tell this one.... I know all of us are very sensitive to the hard work we put into marking our masterpieces, and that it hurts when someone doesn't appreciate them.
Well how about this one.... My MIL birthday is Dec 18th. I made her a really great card (at least I thought so). About a week or so later my husband asked if she got the card. She said "yeah, I don't know if it was a Christmas card or for my birthday, it said celebrate on the front." The card said celebrate on the outside and HAPPY BIRTHDAY in the inside, I specifically did the card in pastel colors, thinking that most of her cards are probably Christmas cards that have happy birthday written in them. To top this off, I had just spent a lot of time making her a box of cards for Christmas. I decorated a box, made file dividers, and a ton of assorted use cards. So at that point I felt very sad that I had spent all that time for cards she wouldn't appreciate! Eventually when she did get all of her presents in the mail, she said I missed my calling (meaning me). I think she meant it nice, but I thought what was I supposed to be a Nun?! LOL! No, but really if I'm creative and I'm making things, then what calling did I miss???? One other thing, my husband asked if she liked the magnets I made, she said she'd have to go look at them again, she didn't know I made them.
I also made beaded bracelets for my SIL and Niece. She didn't know until my husband told her and she said, oh, I thought so but I didn't want to say anything in case she didn't make them! But then she asked if I made the Moose Munch (NO, it's from Harry and David)! Duh!
Okay, I feel so much better now, because I know all of you that read this will understand. Thanks for letting me vent!
Wow....it sounds like you are very talented and crafty! Don't stop creating because one person may not appreciate your work. A lot of the appreciation is in the eye of the beholder. Just because a few people did not care for Picasso, Monet, Rembrant, Dali, etc....did not mean they were not artists producing great works! Keep doing what you love.....
__________________ Have an awesome day!
Loretta Rathert~
I'm sorry you had to "experience the underappreciation" of your work. None of my husband's side of the family "gets it." My mom enjoys hand made things as well as my sister as both are crafters. I stopped making items for "the unappreciative" 5 years ago. This gives me more time to make things for those people who do enjoy the items. I remember at first being stunned by their response, then resentful, then "if they don't get it, no prob. No more of my valuable time spent." When you have other folks asking/paying you to make things for them, so they can give your items as gifts...well enough said. Take heart in that there are plenty of other people who love and enjoy your creativity.
Can I hijack your thread with my whine? I knit my two nieces scarves for Chirstmas and for my brother and SIL I made Frosty tumbled marble coasters, coordinating candle, and a Frosty word frame. My SIL's comment was "you sure had a crafty Christmas". Now what is that supposed to mean? I certainly put a whole lot more time and effort into thier gift than they did for mine. Okay, end of whine I feel better now. Thanks for listening and understanding.
__________________ Melanie in NC -
Stamp, scrap, read, knit - all on my blog www.mholles.blogspot.com
January pages scrapped 1/10
Unfortunately, some people (gift & card recipients) just don't get the concept that we (card & gift makers) actually enjoy creating things. My sister is like that. Her attitude is, "Wouldn't it just be easier to buy it from Hallmark?" It's not always easy, but I've learned to just let her words go in my one ear and out the other.
Several of the people we sent Christmas cards to this year were kind enough to handwrite a note in theirs to us that they liked my cards. That made my day! But DH's uncle addressed his comments to my DH!!! I know that's just this uncle's goofball sense of humor but puh-leeeeeze. :rolleyes:
I've actually had someone open a card I made them (spent a good amount of time on!) and then after unwrapping presents, seen them toss it in the trash with the old wrapping paper.
After that, I made a decision. I only MAKE cards/presents for folks I truly care about and will appreciate the work.
I know how you feel--My daughter has acted like all I have made for her is juke--was just at her house and did not see any thing--I asked and she said oh I was to keep and use that stuff !!!! never again..................
Pptt...I just spat on your MIL. ;) Just kidding of course. Some people just don't get it. It sounds like you have a precious DH though that tries to explain all of this to his family. He must really cherish your talent and your heart. It sounds to me like he is proud of you. I know it hurts when people don't appreciate our efforts. I've had it happen too. It hurts.
I wouldn't give any of it another thought. If it is EVER brought to anyones attention that a gift is handmade, I think it's extremely rude for them to not thank you specifically for it - whether it be a card or something else. It makes that item more personal and they can at least make a comment such as - Thank you so much for taking the time to make me this. Or I appreciate your giving me one of your handmade cards, etc. That is just having good manners which your MIL lacks. Perhaps she is "elderly"? I know my mom lost some of her usual manners as she got to a certain age. Whatever the reason, always keep in mind that you ARE talented and don't let it bug you if you don't get the reaction you had hoped for. I think we all have experienced the same thing from others in the past. Just keep up the good work and continue to enjoy it!
__________________ *My greatest fear is that when I die, my husband
will sell my Rubber Stamps for what I told him I
paid for them....*
I sort of thought when the MIL said, "you missed your calling" she meant, you should be working in the creative field in life (as a compliment - like you're really talented).
Sorry to hijack this thread, but listen to this story -
I made these special notecards/box for a friend and specifically bought music themed stamps and the makin' music wheel. (My friend is an orchestra teacher.) Anyway, she actually sent me a thank you card USING the cards I made her and then in the card said, "don't you like these notecards? One of my student's mothers made them for me." SERIOUSLY! She forgot who made the cards for her! And the cards were DEFINITELY from me! That happened two years ago and I still have not told her about it. She is one of those people who is really book smart and street-stupid.
I sort of thought when the MIL said, "you missed your calling" she meant, you should be working in the creative field in life (as a compliment - like you're really talented).
Oh my gosh, I can't believe some of these stories!! My sister and I were making cards, candles, altoids tins, ect. and were really excited about them and people look at you like "this is it." To me if a person goes to the time to make a gift, instead of buying it off of some dusty old shelf, it means more. By the way, Hallmark has nice cards (I think, I haven't seen any for about 2 years now.LOL) but when you make a card you make it around the persons personality. I feel better now too.
Next year you shoud go to the dollar store for the birthday card...I hear they have some pretty nice cards there. Or better yet...the gas station. LOL!
I can totally relate..I made the in-laws candles with my kids pics on them (courtesy of SCS...Thank you very much!!) and a picture frame and pic,and they barely even took them out of the bag. I just couldn't believe it. They didn't care that it was pics of the grandkids or that the gifts were hand made. I really wonder why I bother...but I guess it is because I really enjoy making them. The others that got them appreciated them, so that was good.
Just thought I'd do some boo hooing with y'all that can understand how it feels.
__________________ Kaye "May the odds be ever in your favor"
Effie Trinket, The Hunger Games
Whether the gift is handmade or store-bought, there are always people who don't know how to say "Thank You." I got used to the fact early in my married life that my MIL was one of those people. About once every 10 years we would happen to pick something that brought a smile to her face. The other years we just took it for granted that Mom Parker doesn't especially like receiving gifts. Oh well... "in acceptance lieth peace"...John Donne
I'm going to jump in here with something that may not be very popular.
There are people out there who think that "homemade" gifts are cheesy and cheap, no matter how nice the actual gift is. Instead of looking at it as "this person must really care about me to put all this time into making this for me" they think "this person doesn't really care about me or else they would have spent money on me/bought me something nice instead."
A lot of people in this thread have said how much they enjoy making gifts for people, and I think that's great. However, I do also think it's important to consider to whom you are giving a gift and what *that person* would like. Giving a handmade gift to someone who would really prefer a pair of gloves from Macy's is like a husband giving a knife to his wife when she really wanted stamping stuff (scenario stolen from another thread!)
Does this mean never give handmade gifts? Of course not! And if you can't really afford to shop for people and want to make them gifts instead, of course that's what you should do. But I totally agree with what Annette said:
"I stopped making items for "the unappreciative" 5 years ago. This gives me more time to make things for those people who do enjoy the items. I remember at first being stunned by their response, then resentful, then "if they don't get it, no prob. No more of my valuable time spent.""
That's exactly how I feel. I make handmade cards for everyone, because I've spent money on cardmaking supplies and am not about to go out and *buy* cards. But as far as gifts go, I only give handmade gifts to people I know or think will appreciate them or also to people like teachers and GS leaders and so on, basically people I don't well enough to know what they would want.
__________________ --Anne
Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.
--Henry Van Dyke
I have to hijack too. I feel your pain. I made really cute paint cans for my neices for Christmas. My DH thought they were just "the wrapping" for their "real gifts". I asked his sister (my neices mom) if she liked the gifts and she just commented on the DVDs I put inside the cans. I guess I won't be making handmade gifts for his family anymore. BTW... my scrapping friend loved the paint can I made her. I'll spend my crafting time on her next time!
I know I made 15 checkbook covers with matching pens and added a post it note for all of my aunts and cousins, including my mom and SIL. My mom showed the girls at work and one of them wants one But I'm sure my SIL's will just lay around with the rest of their "stuff."
I stamped my room & my son's room and it took my MIL FOREVER to come over and look at them or even comment on them. MY DH and FIL were both so amazed and proud of me! MY DH had to basically pry the info out of her after she had seen them and all she said was that they were "nice." What is it with MIL's? I hope I'm never that way with my DS's wife!(well when he gets married).
With one income, it is so nice to make things for people, but all of you are right, some people just don't care! Let's all make things for each other
[quote=BasketMom]I sort of thought when the MIL said, "you missed your calling" she meant, you should be working in the creative field in life (as a compliment - like you're really talented).
She probably did mean it that way but, it just didn't come across that way. And like I said if I'm creative and enjoy making things why did I miss my calling. Oh wait maybe, I need to get paid for what I do, you know a real job!
I want to thank everyone for your comments and understanding. To be real honest I have decided that for me, Christmas is way too commercial. Most people could be blind folded, spun around in a store and let loose to find a gift for someone, and say "this will do". Maybe that's a bit synical (sp?) but, I feel much better putting time and thought into something hand made. What really hit me was when she didn't even know if the card was for her birthday or Christmas. Next year her card will have balloons, cakes and candles all over it! LOL! Anyway, I've been married for 22 years and I know not to be offended by most of what my family members say and do. I will continue making cards and gifts. I will also continue to laugh as I know the Roomba vacuum cleaner my SIL gave my MIL is not going to be used! (MIL told my DH she likes her old vacuum) Along with all the other gifts from the last 20 or so years. I know my DH and I gave her (MIL) a George Foreman Grill about 4 years ago, it's in the box in the basement. Funny thing is she says all her friend love theirs.
I enyoyed reading all of your "unappreciated" stories, cause I know I'm not alone!
Another hijack: My SIL's b-day was Sept. 3rd. I sent her a really nice package of cards. She likes otters and I even found an otter stamp and made otter cards just for her. Well, she and my brother got into a really big fight before her b-day and she refuses to open any of her cards. So she has yet to open my package. Why are my cards being held "hostage". Geez. She's never getting a package from me again.
__________________ "I didn't have a budget; and I still went over budget." Donald Trump
Sorry to hear about that. It seems a lot of people in this world are very ungreatful. I do have a suggestion for you though--next time your MIL is in town, take her to a stamp-a-stack or to a stampin up party so she is put on the spot to make cards too--maybe then she will appreciate how hard it can be and how time consuming it is. :smile: My husband's sisters and his mother all stamp so I am lucky because they know how much time & effort are put into things. Good luck to you.
Since I started altering things, scrapbooking, and now making cards I'm very careful to only give gifts to people who appreciate my efforts. It is hurtful to think that something you put alot of thought and work into would end up in the trash.
My heart is breaking reading about all the rude family members out there! My gosh, people can be so thoughtless, where are the social skills?!?!! Seems like the preponderance of unkind comments come from the "in-law" side (whom I affectionately refer to as "out-laws).
With some of these comments, I'd have a REALLY hard time holding my tongue. But for the poor lady who's own daughter doesn't appreciate her gifts, (Deba) THAT would hurt very deeply. I've learned through the years not to expect ANYTHING in the way of kudos or appreciation from my MIL. She thinks I stamp cards cuz it's cheaper than buying store bought.......oh man, if she only knew....LOL!
I gave out at least a dozen goodie bags to close friends and family this year all with handstamped items, and I was very encouraged because all the comments I got were really positive. I'm very very blessed because my sisters, nieces and close friends are all cognizant of the meaningfulness of a handmade gift. We have fun "oohiing and aahing" over all the neat things we create. No one "needs" or wants anyone to spend a lot of money, but the investment of time in a handmade gift shows so much caring and thoughtfulness. To have that go unappreciated is very discouraging.
Here's a big hug ((((((Dina)))) and you keep stamping and give that marvelous husband of yours a big hug, he sounds like a gem!
It's hard to do sometimes but don't take the negative junk personally. Some people (no matter the age) just have no sense & the barest manners. Even at craft shows you can pick out the people who just don't get it. They will pick pick pick at everything they see & complain about the price on the item, but will walk into a store & lay down a wad of money for things that are poor quality & 1 of a trillion others you will see.
But here's a couple of great stories that made my day...... I sent a Christmas card to my boss last year & again this year. He owns a boat & every year the artwork on his cards will have a boat. This year on the card he 'customized' the side of the boat my penning in "MY BOAT" as the name. His note inside - he had both of my Christmas cards on his mantle as his 'art' for Christmas.
My DH (who is always interested in what I'm working on) gave me 2 Christmas cards - both purchased BUT he said "I didn't find anything as good as your cards but thought I would like these." One was a multifold card (not accordion & more than a trifold) & one was a really cool card that held a 'gift' card.
I've said it in others threads on this topic - I'm very very lucky - my whole family loves handcrafted gifts, maybe because so many of us do one or many different 'crafty' things. These are the people I spent the time on. The others will get something that was chosen for them but purchased from a store.
Kitty
I always invite my grandma to come to my camps and make cards if she wants to. I'm not going to pressure her into buying anything that I know she won't use...I just want her to come and make a few cute cards to give to family or send to friends. She always says that she will leave th crafting to me and she doesn't understand why I would want to make cards.
So for Christmas, I made her a box of cards! She was so excited and loved them. i think she has a new appreciation!
