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Like many others have said, I make cards because I like to do it. It is fun, and my way of letting my creative juices flow. While I would love positive feedback from recepients, I had to "let it go" and decide to keep making them because it makes Me happy.
I've been making and sending my creations for about 10 years and it's only been the last two years that I've gotten some positive feedback from a few good friends and one family member.
When it is your own husband who only gives you the "hmmmm".... That can be tough. I know most of us just laugh it off and don't really expect our hubbies to "get it" They've got their hobbies and we've got ours right? But for me, there is always that little place deep down that wants that positive reinforcement you know?
My problem with the hubby isn't so much that he isn't supportive. He always wants me to make cards for his family. But he studied art in college, and is very good. My hubby likes to offer "suggestions" or just seriously tries to art direct my efforts. I've had to tell him not to offer an opinion or "help" unless I ASK for it!! ��
I hobby write-and I did a series of three books worth. Took me years. They are not "great works"...but DH never finished chapter one despite about 2 dozen requests on my part. It has always been a source of pain to me that he didnt want to do it on his own, but even more after I asked.
The cards he is good about. That might be b/c I have talked about how much work goes into them, or he has seen me taking 45 mins to color something. He can be very supportive of other things too.
Fionna is DH better about other things? If he isnt...then he just isnt a verbal kinda guy. Doesnt mean he doesnt care. How did he respond to bought cards before you started making them? People dont always put a value on cards as a whole.
Cards are not clothes. Men have been trained about clothes by society. And there is the basic sex appeal aspect sometimes...and while we might think they would know to say something nice about anything we make as an extension of saying something nice about the food we put in front of them...they dont always connect the dots. Maybe if we came out only dressed in some of our cards...
Sometimes it helps is if someone else heavily compliments the thing in front of them and tells them how lucky they are to have talented us.
As for family/friends...do they go "oooo" over store bought cards? Think back. Maybe not. So I would not be surprised at that reaction to HM.
There are some people who think paper crafts are for children. "Adult" art is painting, photography, etc. You can usually nail these people when they remark how their child just made something in their 2nd grade class the other day.
In the end...if you dont care for the reactions-dont give them to them. See if they say something.
But you keep making them!!! It is something you like to do and you know you have an appreciate audience here who also gets what went into them.
I read the many supportive replies in this thread. People are helpful on this board, and I think it's important you give real thought to what "please yourself" and "do what you love" means. We tell each other this often, but how does it translate on the inside? Your attitude toward your work will determine how others see it. If you're anxious for approval, it can convey doubt about the value of your work. I also looked at your gallery, and, frankly, I believe your lack of external support can be a reflection of your own doubt. These cards are beautiful! But my saying so, or others saying so, won't help a bit if you lack confidence in your own taste and abilities. Drink up a good dose of confidence, and let it radiate out to husband, relatives, friends, and watch what happens!
Cards are not clothes. Men have been trained about clothes by society. And there is the basic sex appeal aspect sometimes...and while we might think they would know to say something nice about anything we make as an extension of saying something nice about the food we put in front of them...they dont always connect the dots. Maybe if we came out only dressed in some of our cards...
Wavejumper, this really made me laugh today!
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
I read this thread a couple of days ago and agree with pretty much everyone here. For the OP, you are awesome! My DH has been travelling A LOT, so one night on the phone I told him that I made his mom a birthday card and I loved it so much that when he got home, I wanted him to appreciate it (even if he had to fake it). I was thrilled when he saw it and said, "wow!" and I could tell he meant it. I know my MIL will love it, too. She's a beginner stamper and always appreciates my creations. On the flip side, I hardly ever bother showing him my stuff because it's not really his thing. Just like I can't get excited about car parts and power tools. Now I have a crafty pre teen daughter, so I can get affirmation from her. :-)
__________________ Jennifer
Live each day with kindness, happiness, and a smile.
Like most everyone else here, I can say that I make cards first and foremost because I love making them. I love learning about design, trying new techniques, having a creative outlet with a practical side to it, and (let's be honest) browsing online for new stamping toys and ideas. So by the time I actually give a card to someone, I've already had my fun. Of course if someone appreciates the card and says so, that's icing on the cake and I love that too.
I do understand though that it must be painfully disappointing to receive criticism or dismissal instead of appreciation from your hubby or others, who are lucky enough to get one of your cards. Like many others here, I can say quite honestly that I've long been an admirer of your cards and you've been a familiar presence for me here at Splitcoast. So I was shocked when I saw this post. Just know that however unappreciative or unsophisticated your audience may be at home, you have a crowd of connoisseurs here who DO appreciate your work and recognize your talent (even if we don't always leave a comment.) So please keep on blessing us with your gifts, as well as anyone else in your circle who would appreciate it.
Like most everyone else here, I can say that I make cards first and foremost because I love making them. I love learning about design, trying new techniques, having a creative outlet with a practical side to it, and (let's be honest) browsing online for new stamping toys and ideas. So by the time I actually give a card to someone, I've already had my fun. Of course if someone appreciates the card and says so, that's icing on the cake and I love that too.
I do understand though that it must be painfully disappointing to receive criticism or dismissal instead of appreciation from your hubby or others, who are lucky enough to get one of your cards. Like many others here, I can say quite honestly that I've long been an admirer of your cards and you've been a familiar presence for me here at Splitcoast. So I was shocked when I saw this post. Just know that however unappreciative or unsophisticated your audience may be at home, you have a crowd of connoisseurs here who DO appreciate your work and recognize your talent (even if we don't always leave a comment.) So please keep on blessing us with your gifts, as well as anyone else in your circle who would appreciate it.
What a lovely, inspiring post! You should be a motivational speaker.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
Like most everyone else here, I can say that I make cards first and foremost because I love making them. I love learning about design, trying new techniques, having a creative outlet with a practical side to it, and (let's be honest) browsing online for new stamping toys and ideas. So by the time I actually give a card to someone, I've already had my fun. Of course if someone appreciates the card and says so, that's icing on the cake and I love that too.
I do understand though that it must be painfully disappointing to receive criticism or dismissal instead of appreciation from your hubby or others, who are lucky enough to get one of your cards. Like many others here, I can say quite honestly that I've long been an admirer of your cards and you've been a familiar presence for me here at Splitcoast. So I was shocked when I saw this post. Just know that however unappreciative or unsophisticated your audience may be at home, you have a crowd of connoisseurs here who DO appreciate your work and recognize your talent (even if we don't always leave a comment.) So please keep on blessing us with your gifts, as well as anyone else in your circle who would appreciate it.
Diane, this thread is one of the reasons I joined this forum.
Since you posted this, I'd like to tell you:
Please, never, never stop!
I know I'm an absolute stranger to you but you aren't for me. You are one of the artists that encouraged me to start stamping. I LOVE your cards, can't stop reading your blog and your gallery and I hope every day, to find something new from you.
Diane, this thread is one of the reasons I joined this forum.
Since you posted this, I'd like to tell you:
Please, never, never stop!
I know I'm an absolute stranger to you but you aren't for me. You are one of the artists that encouraged me to start stamping. I LOVE your cards, can't stop reading your blog and your gallery and I hope every day, to find something new from you.
Conny
Welcome to Splitcoast! Your reply to Diane is so lovely! You truly belong here. Just remember, there are no strangers here--just stampers you haven't met yet.
__________________ ValliWhen I'm not near the stamp I love, I love the stamp I'm near.My tiny little gallery
Dianne, your cards are lovely. I know it's hard when someone doesn't "get it".
Have you asked for a positive comment? I know this sounds stupid but it did work for me. One time, I'd worked hard on a card and went to show DH and got a similar reaction to you. He was watching TV or something, I can't remember. My response was, "I can see you're distracted right now but I worked hard on this and would like you to appreciate it later when I show it to you again." I then l left and went back to crafting. He actually sought out the card later and did have something positive to say. Interestingly, he's been much more supportive since then. Like Joan, his support can be a bit warped, and a bit hit or miss, but it's there.
Dianne, your cards are lovely. I know it's hard when someone doesn't "get it".
Have you asked for a positive comment? I know this sounds stupid but it did work for me. One time, I'd worked hard on a card and went to show DH and got a similar reaction to you. He was watching TV or something, I can't remember. My response was, "I can see you're distracted right now but I worked hard on this and would like you to appreciate it later when I show it to you again." I then l left and went back to crafting. He actually sought out the card later and did have something positive to say. Interestingly, he's been much more supportive since then. Like Joan, his support can be a bit warped, and a bit hit or miss, but it's there.
You're not alone!
Well. You know. He's a guy! (Quote from TV commercial) :lol:
Dea
I got one of those reactions from my husband's car group tonight. Not card related but same thing.
They were discussing car shows and what type were their favorites. They are saying stuff like 2 day car shows, money instead of trophies, experienced judges..etc. One of the wives looked at me and asked my opinion. I said the perfect car show was one that started at noon and ended at 2PM. We have pretty cars but I see them all the time so it's hard to get excited. Therefore I don't expect a lot of excitement from my husband when I do something. Now if I make a card or project for him for one of his buddies he is very appreciative. lol
Just saw this thread today...Diane, I have always loved your gallery! Keep creating, and yes...join in those fun challenges!
My hubby often takes pictures of my cards, as his photography skills are better than mine. Sometimes, I have several at once, and I'll ask "So, what did you think of them?"
"Umm, ok I guess. I wasn't really paying attention."
He was more concerned about lighting. :rolleyes:
But despite this, he has told co-workers about my cards, and has gotten a few commissions for me!
Most of my friends don't comment on my cards, but a few do. Like others have said, I do this for me, as well as for the people I send cards to. It is therapeutic (emotionally and physically) for me. I can't imagine not doing this!
When I am feeling the need for affirmation (some days I just need a pick-me-up!), I come here to look at my gallery to remind myself of my early projects, and what I have done since then. I even figured out how to see which cards have the most views or the most comments! I also was told that I could search on Pinterest by my SCS name, and I can see my cards that other people have pinned. Very affirming!
Keep creating, keep having fun!
__________________ Kim in Illinois, Dirty Dozen Alum, QFTD#207, FS798, VSN Moderator "Famous Last Words" Spring Virtual Stamp Night, April 19 & 20
Hello, Conny!
